As a play therapist, I’m used to explaining the ins and outs of play therapy. Because play is a universal concept, most people understand that it is also a child’s “language” and can be used to address many issues in therapy. However, when it comes to preteens, play therapy takes a slight shift.
Whereas children don’t always have the ability to articulate their thoughts and feelings, preteens are becoming more able to hold conversations about important issues. They can still become very uncomfortable, however, if they have to sit across from an adult for a “serious” talk. Plus, by the time most preteens come to counseling, they’ve heard a lot of talking already.
Play is still very important to preteens, although it starts to look a little different. As children mature, activities move away from fantasy play to more structured games. Still, children of this age often feel trapped between childhood and the teen years. In play therapy, preteens often vacillate between play that is more common to younger children and activities that appeal more to teenagers.
At our counseling practice, we often use games and interactive activities to take the pressure off. Preteens enjoy both regular board and card games and also specialized therapeutic games. Games can be used to deal with anxiety, power and control issues, self-esteem, relationships and difficult behaviors. Specialized therapeutic games address topic areas such as depression, anger, anxiety, aggression, life changes, coping skills and much more. Skilled play therapists can use almost any game to address difficult issues with children and teenagers.
Preteens are also developing creative skills. They are moving into using abstract thought as life opens up to endless possibilities. Expressive arts are a great tool to address new thoughts and feelings. Using specific art materials, clients build, sculpt or draw to represent their struggles and find alternative solutions.
Preteens also enjoy using the sand tray and an array of miniatures to represent their “worlds.” Using miniatures provides a feel that is similar to setting up toys. At the same time, the child is using these
miniatures with a few guidelines that make the activity feel challenging. Sand tray therapy is a great way to allow kids in early adolescence to work through their issues without feeling pressured or judged.
Additionally, interactive activities can be used to teach mindfulness meditation skills. By learning to direct their breathing and use creative imagery, kids become more aware of their feelings and what’s behind them. By recognizing intense emotions, they are better able to control them and listen to what these feelings are trying to say to them.
In conclusion, preteens are balancing child’s play and teen activities. Given enough freedom, children of this age group may allow themselves to delve into pretend play, dressing up or other activities that are more typical for younger children. On the other hand, they also like the challenge of activities that are considered to be more grown-up. Maintaining this balance requires their counselors to maintain a great level of flexibility and a nonjudgmental attitude. As a result, preteens will know that counseling is a place where they can use any of their internal resources at any time to address any issue at hand.
Mark Loewen is a licensed professional counselor, registered play therapist and parent coach in Richmond, Virginia. He is the owner of LaunchPad Counseling (launchpadcounseling.com), a practice that helps children, teens and parents cultivate their inner resources to overcome stressful circumstances. Contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org.