Tag Archives: Shelter in place

COVID-19 and the ‘casino effect’

By Todd Monger April 15, 2021

Providing mental health services during a pandemic is a perspective changer. A few weeks ago, I happened to work with three clients back-to-back, providing counseling services through telehealth. COVID-19 has opened a door, and a necessity, to being creative in how we provide services and mental health support. It has also revealed an interesting parallel.

As I worked with these three college students who were struggling with issues related to depression, isolation, lack of energy and anxiety, I realized they were all engaging in counseling from the same environment: a basement or bedroom from which they had not left the entire day. Not because of the debilitating effects of a clinical diagnosis, but rather because they had no need to.

It is well known that casinos spend significant resources honing the psychology of their gambling venues to tap into the gamer’s five senses. Casino designers create an environment that lulls their customers into a trance during which they can lose their financial capital as quickly as they lose their sense of joy, self-esteem and inner peace. There are no clocks or windows. Scents are used that research has shown can increase gaming up to 53%. Customers are well-stocked with free drinks and snacks. All of this is done with the purpose of encouraging gamers to pull that lever or roll the dice one more time.

It has occurred to me that COVID-19 has had some similar effects on our psyches. If recognized, we might use these observations to inform our understanding of some of the mental health pitfalls that our clients are currently experiencing, similar to the way we are informed of the trappings of organized gaming.

Time

Casinos work hard to keep customers hooked to their games. One way this is done is to remove anything that informs the player of time. Clocks and windows are almost never seen because these objects would risk informing those on the gaming floor that they have been there too long or have other things that need their attention.

The coronavirus demanded that many of us work or attend school from home. It has become apparent that our living conditions can affect our mental health in ways we do not readily recognize. Many people’s workstations reside in dark bedrooms or basements in which natural light is limited or eliminated completely. To improve contrast and reduce screen glare, those who are working or attending school from home may draw their curtains. The information that daylight provides about the time of day — morning, noon, night — is effectively lost.

It used to be common to get our news and entertainment via predictably scheduled TV shows and movies. Some even carried time stamps (the 6 o’clock or 10 p.m. news, for example), prompting us to consider our proximity to bedtime. Now we stream our news and television shows with little thought given to a set schedule. We routinely engage in “binge-watching,” which is akin to staring at a slot machine as it rolls around and entices us with “just one more pull” before we go (and then still don’t leave). Whether it was beating rush-hour traffic, catching a school bus, coming home from work or attending evening activities, these actions subtly informed us about the time of day and regulated us biologically, providing a healthier existence until the threat of COVID-19 arrested these tells.

COVID-19 is affecting our sense of time and, as such, impacting our biological regulation of sleep, diet and exercise — three ingredients that can help either protect us against or make us more susceptible to depression and anxiety. For these reasons, I recommend that individuals pay greater attention to their work and entertainment environments. Set structures that encourage relocation and movement. Although it is potentially less convenient, consider watching your entertainment on a different screen and in a different room than where you work or sleep.

Maintain morning rituals and evening activities that help inform what needs to be happening at each point in the day. Consider investing in a dawn simulator alarm clock, and be mindful of the sunrise and sunset and how they can be included in one’s daily schedule. Committing to a balanced and regulated lifestyle during the pandemic will promote improved mental health, rest and rejuvenation.

Comfort

If you want to help a person lose their money, or their mind, keep them as comfortable as possible. Casinos provide free food and drinks, with incredible customer service, so that gamers never feel the pressure to leave. It’s a sedentary existence to sit at a slot machine or a card table as it eats away at hard-earned resources.

In a somewhat similar fashion, the COVID-19 pandemic has restricted us to our living areas. At first, this was a celebrated comfort for some — easy and seemingly weightless. Those few extra minutes in bed. Never having to get out of your sweatpants. Your living room becoming your office, your entertainment center and your bed. Days and weeks can go by as groceries are delivered to one’s house.

Suddenly, leaving home for any small amount of time feels like a chore or, worse yet, home has become a security blanket and leaving becomes anxiety producing. The more comfortable we are, the more everything else seems like “work” — and certainly less pleasurable.

Metaphorically, I have thought of this as being akin to an astronaut whose “antigravity muscles” (neck, calf, back) begin to atrophy due to underuse after five to 11 days in a weightless environment. Upon returning to Earth, gravity suddenly feels like a heavy weight, and what previously seemed normal is now crushing, unpleasurable and anxiety producing. To mitigate these known effects, astronauts intentionally exercise every day while in outer space, using resistance bands and other adapted machines to keep muscles working.

In a similar way, individuals need to keep working out their social and mental muscles. I fear that when the COVID-19 pandemic is finally over, some people will struggle with the “gravitational pressure” of social engagement because that muscle has atrophied through underuse during this time of physical distancing.

Mental stimulation

Casino floors are loud. Between the lights, colors, bells, sirens and laughter, it’s little wonder they are often referred to as “playgrounds.” Upon first entering such a place, it seems filled with possibility and excitement, but it doesn’t take long for that sound to become numbing. Research on gaming design tells us that casino games are made to “sound like winning” to increase a person’s drive to engage. Casinos, from the games to the artwork, are designed to draw one in like a moth to a flame. I imagine this is similar to receiving a “like” on a social media account, the new dopamine hit of the 21st century.

It is no surprise to hear that living through COVID-19 is boring. So many people and places we took for granted have been taken away or locked down. The world has been filled with fear, and in many cases, technology has been the answer to keep us safe.

As we continue to use our digital “slot machines” to connect to the world around us, one unintentional effect is that we steadily increase the amount of access we have to passive, yet exciting, communication. It reminds me of learning how food can become a delivery system for sugar, which tastes delightful and delivers an immediate energy rush, but leaves one feeling tired and sluggish soon after. And when we feel tired, we consume more sugar for a quick pick-me-up, resulting in a vicious cycle. Under the COVID-19 pandemic, when our brains feel bored, we are tempted to watch more lights, more colors, more bells to stimulate away the silence and isolation. Much like in a casino, this can trick us into feeling like we are winning when, in reality, we are running ourselves into the ground due to a lack of true novelty.

Dopamine, sometimes referred to as the pleasure neurotransmitter, is actually increased when we think of or engage in something that is novel. Technology can be an amazing delivery system of novelty. However, during this time, it is important that we also find novelty outside of the “casino.”

I have challenged clients to create their own journals titled “Things I learned during COVID-19” and then fill them with experiences, activities and photos. Creating novelty does not have to be hard. It can be as simple as making your own campfire and toasting s’mores, cooking or baking, or learning something new. The process of both planning and physically doing new tasks increases movement and engagement and uses our entire neuro-network to improve mental health. The process of delayed gratification —thinking about something exciting or interesting in the future —also increases dopamine.

Living life in a pandemic is challenging in so many ways. But if we allow it to, it can also birth creativity, intentionality, resiliency and new insights. Even though we find ourselves wandering around our homes in a seemingly numb state at times, it does not have to mean that “the house always wins.” My encouragement to you and those you love is to close the laptop or smartphone, get up from the bells and whistles, step away from the artificial lights, and walk outside to reconnect with a world that is missing you.

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Todd Monger is a licensed professional clinical counselor, national certified counselor and approved clinical supervisor who has been providing clinical services for 20 years. He currently serves in private practice at Stable Living LLC, where he provides equine-assisted psychotherapy. He has also served as the executive director of student development at North Central University in Minneapolis for the past 17 years. Contact him at todd@stableliving.us.

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Opinions expressed and statements made in articles appearing on CT Online should not be assumed to represent the opinions of the editors or policies of the American Counseling Association.

Counseling Connoisseur: Navigating the losses of COVID-19

By Cheryl Fisher March 22, 2021

[NOTE: This is this second piece in a COVID-19 recovery series. See the first installment here.]

Elsa, my 2-year-old poodle, and I enjoy our routine walks in the neighborhood. It has become more frequent since the onset of COVID-19, and we both look forward to the fresh air, change of scenery, and connecting with the neighbors as we pass by (socially distanced, of course). On this day, we approached the home of my new neighbors. They are a young couple, and during our last encounter, they indicated they were pregnant and expecting their first child. They had just pulled up in their driveway and were disembarking the vehicle as we walked toward them. “I’ll get him,” the husband called to his wife as he exited the car. “Oh, they had a boy,” I thought. “How wonderful.” I slowed my pace to see if I could get a peek from across the street where Elsa and I dawdled. He opened the back door to his vehicle and proceeded to unbuckle his son. Imagine my surprise when a toddler jumped out of the car! When did that happen?!

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I have heard it said that 2020 is the year that wasn’t. As we all stayed safe in our homes, socially distanced from friends and family, an entire year went by — without us. Oh, things happened, but many of us were not able to participate in the regular encounters that add richness to our lives. Weddings, births, celebrations, graduations and even funerals took place in non-traditional and much more private ways. Gatherings consisted of virtual or outdoor activities. Basic shopping was outsourced to delivery services, and additional errands occurred with faces shielded and six feet apart.

To make matters worse, the arrival of 2021 did not magically remove the pandemic or correct the social injustices and political tensions experienced. The losses have been and continue to be great. At the time of this column’s publication, the World Health Organization reports over 116 million confirmed global cases of COVID-19, and over 2.5 million people have died.

Navigating death during a pandemic is beyond challenging, as I experienced when my father-in-law died recently. He had contracted COVID-19, along with other residents in his assisted living community. He had recovered, but never completely. On Friday, Jan. 30, we received a call that his health was failing. My husband and I rushed to the facility where he resided. After testing negative to a rapid COVID test, we donned mask, shield and bodysuit to enter into my father-in-law’s room. Other than visits where we spoke through his window while we stood outdoors, it was the first time we had seen him in several months. He was unresponsive but resting peacefully. My husband asked me to set Pandora to Glen Miller (one of his father’s favorite musicians) and proceeded to tell his father about all that we had experienced since we last saw him. We rambled about the holidays (that we were unable to experience together), the home renovations we were starting and our hope to have family gathered as soon as safely possible.

Because only two people could visit at a time, we had to wrap up our visit when my brother-in-law and his wife arrived. My husband and I stood on either side of my father-in-law, rubbing his arm and holding his hand, and told him we would see him soon. We left knowing it would be our last time with him. He died early the following morning.

The grief associated with this loss is profound. As I discussed in an earlier article, “Counseling Connoisseur: Death and bereavement during COVID-19,” the traditional rituals that help in grief recovery are often altered or absent due to pandemic safety protocols.

In addition to the loved ones we have lost, there have been a plethora of other losses, actual and symbolic. Symbolic loss is often intangible. Sometimes it accompanies death but is not acknowledged as a loss. For example, my father-in-law’s memorial service is delayed until it is safe to gather, thereby preventing the emotional closure that funerals and memorials provide in the grief recovery process.

Other tangible losses include the millions of lost jobs due to the economic impact of the pandemic. The loss of community and social support during isolation and quarantine may be unquantifiable and thus “intangible,” but its effects are significant. Additionally, life happened — without us gathering to record or mark it. The loss caused by our inability to gather for significant events will become more and more evident as we begin (in time) to reconnect with friends and family.

For example, after becoming fully inoculated with the Pfizer vaccine and continuing to follow the Centers for Disease Control safety protocol, I returned to a couple of my favorite group fitness classes (now small, ventilated, physically distanced, and masked). It felt like a homecoming after a yearlong hiatus. The four or five of us in attendance spent the first few minutes of class just catching up. “So, what did you do this past year?” It was uncanny how life had continued for each of us apart. There had been cancer remissions, divorces and retirements, along with weddings and babies born. Except for what I like to term the “COVID cushion” of a few pounds of weight gain for some of us, everyone looked the same. They looked great. I had not realized how much I had missed this community of women I have sweated with side by side for over twenty years!

There have been so many losses this year, and the eager anticipation of a return to some semblance of normalcy is palpable. However, things have changed, and it is important to prepare our clients and ourselves with tools to navigate the losses resulting from the pandemic.

Navigating loss

Prepare for change: Life has continued, and things have changed. An entire year has passed in the lives of our family and friends. While you may have remained in contact, it will be different when it is safe to resume getting together this year. People may have died or moved. New members may have joined the family or friend group. Expect change.

Acknowledge loss: Recognize the changes. Honor the losses. Gatherings may be bittersweet. So much time has passed. So much has been missed. So much economic hardship for so many individuals. Talk about it. Journal. Seek therapeutic support.

You can’t go back, but you can move forward: The truth is that even when it is safe to resume previous activities, it will never be the same. It can’t be. Too much has happened. While we may mourn the past, maybe that is not a bad thing. Perhaps, we can use our experiences and create a better future with what we know now. As C.S Lewis suggested, “You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.”

The pandemic has brought a lot of loss. While we are more cognizant of the actual losses of death, we must also be aware of the symbolic losses we have experienced. We can acknowledge the sadness of missing out on life experiences, the inability to give comfort in person when family and friends struggle with health or economic distress, or the loss of group celebrations. We can recognize the cumulative grief and fear caused by the pandemic and political injustices. We can prepare ourselves for the shock and mourning that may accompany our re-entry into our post-lockdown lives over the next year, brace for the changes that occurred while we remained sheltered in place, and ready ourselves for life to continue.

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Cheryl Fisher

Cheryl Fisher is a licensed clinical professional counselor in private practice in Annapolis, Maryland. She is director and assistant professor for Alliant International University California School of Professional Psychology’s online MA in Clinical Counseling. Her research interests include examining sexuality and spirituality in young women with advanced breast cancer; nature-informed therapy; and geek therapy. She may be contacted at cyfisherphd@gmail.com.

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Opinions expressed and statements made in articles appearing on CT Online should not be assumed to represent the opinions of the editors or policies of the American Counseling Association.

Overcoming free-time boredom during COVID-19: Combining a home-based optimal leisure lifestyle with behavioral activation

By Rodney B. Dieser July 7, 2020

As a licensed mental health counselor, I am hearing many of my clients tell me that they are ready to go stir-crazy because of an abundance of free time combined with greater stress during the COVID-19 pandemic. Although many states are reopening their leisure industries, many of my clients feel the safer route — and more thoughtful route toward health care workers and preventing the spread of COVID-19 — is to follow epidemiological and scientific advice by staying home.

Some of my clients are experiencing depression because they have lost their jobs, spend most of their days bored and ruminate on fear-based thoughts. The purpose of this short article is to suggest two interrelated ideas about how to create a psychological breather of positive emotion during your day that can also distract you from worry and stress.

First, develop a home-based optimal leisure lifestyle (OLL), which consists of one serious leisure activity, supplemented by casual and project-based leisure. Serious leisure is centered on acquiring and expressing special skills, knowledge and experience that take months, and sometimes years, to develop. Often, in everyday life, this is known as developing a hobby and is based on mastery gained through hard work and much effort.

My youngest son has taken the extra free time he now has and developed a serious skill-based hobby: He has purchased a watch repair kit and is tinkering away at repairing old watches. I am learning how to play the harmonica to Bruce Springsteen songs.

The Wikipedia page on hobbies identifies hundreds of skill-based hobbies to pursue, many of which are home-based. The internet can help with education and skill development. Often, there are online communities full of people who will welcome and mentor you toward your new serious leisure pursuits.

Casual leisure involves short-lived activities that require little or no specialized training. This type of leisure is based in hedonistic pleasure that requires little effort. For instance, my wife and I are currently watching comedies and documentaries on Netflix and enjoying it.

Project-based leisure is a short-term, one-shot or occasional creative undertaking. My wife is serving her community through her sewing projects and is serving a local nonprofit agency. When our kids were young, they picked a project of leisure learning each week (often it was insects), and we all had fun as we learned together. Just like with serious leisure, you can use the internet to find projects in your community. Often, nonprofit organizations are more than ready to link your personal strengths, passions and skills to a project they are working on.

Developing an OLL will provide transient moments in your day for positive emotion — a psychological breather from going stir-crazy and experiencing brain-numbing boredom. To learn more about OLL and the three forms of leisure I have just described, visit the Serious Leisure Perspective website. There you can learn about Robert Stebbins, who pioneered the academic work over a span of 40-plus years that led to development of the serious leisure perspective and the OLL framework. In addition, this website lists hundreds of studies that provide evidence of how individuals’ positive emotion is increased when involved in serious, casual and project-based leisure.

Research demonstrates that people can remedy stress if they laugh more (casual leisure), find a hobby (serious leisure) and engage in meaning-making activities such as volunteering in their communities or toward social causes (project-based leisure).

Behavioral activation involves having people/clients become more active and involved in life by scheduling activities with the potential to improve their mood. Counselors can help those clients who have an abundance of free time on their hands, whether due to unemployment or wanting to continue self-quarantining, by working with them to create a daily schedule based on developing an OLL. This involves using free time to engage in one serious leisure activity (e.g., starting a new hobby such as digital art, nail painting, cartoon drawing or bird watching), one casual leisure activity (e.g., reading, exploring new musical genres, watching comedies, hanging out with friends virtually) and one project-based leisure activity (e.g., sewing high-grade face masks for health care workers, volunteering at the Humane Society or with a political party, helping a nonprofit with fundraising efforts, creating a family history book by interviewing uncles, aunts and cousins) every day.

Behavioral activation is an evidence-based treatment for depression that has been found to be very effective. In everyday language, it is simply getting people more active and involved in life by scheduling activities that can improve mood. Cultivating an OLL and getting involved in serious, casual and project-based leisure when homebound is one way to create a psychological breather of positive emotion during your day that can also distract you from worry and stress.

Self-disclosure of my OLL

The following is a self-disclosure of my OLL during a three-month-plus self-imposed lockdown at home during the COVID-19 pandemic. It is provided so that readers can gain a gestalt of how an OLL can be inserted into everyday life that now may feature much more free time.

Serious leisure: Developing and expressing special skills, knowledge and experience; acquires much effort and is linked to enjoyment.

My daily activities

Learning to play harmonica to Bruce Springsteen songs
Studying creative writing and attempting to write short stories

Casual leisure: Low skills set focused on distracting; linked to pleasure.

My daily activities

Watching more documentaries and comedies on Netflix
Reconnecting with “forgotten musicians” of my past (what I used to listen to as a young man). Includes learning about and appreciating musical narrations and sonic arrangements of different genres of music. Examples: Chris de Burgh, James Taylor, Al Stewart, April Wine, Bachman-Turner Overdrive, Thin Lizzy, Supertramp, Triumph and Neil Young. I extended this to the music that my father and mother (both deceased) liked. This included Hank Williams, Waylon Jennings, Stompin’ Tom Connors, Hank Snow and Freddy Fender.
Reading the “classics” in literature, such as Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, Cervantes’ Don Quixote and Arthur Miller’s Death of a Salesman

Project leisure: Short-term activity focused on completing a project

My daily activities

Cleaning out parts of the house that have not been cleaned out for years and donating much to Goodwill Industries
Gardening
Weekly project of exercise for health: Taking a 5- to 15-mile bike ride three days a week; running sprints at an outdoor track one day a week; working out on a Bowflex twice a week

Note: I used my stimulus check to purchase a Bowflex online and set it up in the garage. That piece of exercise equipment, gardening plants/seeds and used books (also bought online) are the only leisure resources I have purchased during the pandemic. Many of my leisure activities, such as playing the harmonica, engaging in creative writing and developing my appreciation of past musicians, have been learned or enhanced through resources on the internet.

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Related reading, from the Counseling Today archives (co-written by Rodney B. Dieser): “The serious leisure perspective in mental health counseling”

A USA Today opinion piece written by Dieser: “Coronavirus pause: People need people, but it’s risky to resume social activities so soon”

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Rodney B. Dieser is the author of five textbooks and more than 100 articles on the topic of leisure. His writing about leisure has appeared in USA Today and the Mayo Clinic Proceedings journal. He is a professor of recreation, tourism and nonprofit leadership and an affiliate faculty member in professional counseling at the University of Northern Iowa. He works 10 hours a week as a licensed mental health counselor for Covenant Family Solutions in Cedar Falls, Iowa. Contact him at rodney.dieser@uni.edu.

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Opinions expressed and statements made in articles appearing on CT Online should not be assumed to represent the opinions of the editors or policies of the American Counseling Association.

The power of virtual group therapy during a time of quarantine

By Scott Gleeson July 1, 2020

In our newfound world of physical distancing, the idea of six to eight people in a confined space might feel counterintuitive to the six-feet-apart mission we still find ourselves trekking in wake of the coronavirus pandemic. Yet the power of a group is exactly what could provide a profound healing method for so many in times of intensified life anxieties and social isolation.

Mental health clinicians everywhere have been thrust into virtual counseling scenarios because of shelter-in-place restrictions, with telehealth numbers skyrocketing in March, April and May, according to the Department of Health and Human Services. Although in-person individual sessions are poised to become more feasible this summer, physical distancing practices and safety precautions are likely to keep group therapy sessions at a minimum.

That’s where virtual group therapy can be essential.

As a facilitator for a small men’s group at a private practice in Downers Grove, Illinois, I was hesitant about virtual group sessions temporarily replacing our biweekly meetings back in mid-March. By now, even with FaceTime and Skype temporarily being deemed HIPAA-compliant, I am guessing that we all can relate to the technical and natural difficulties that can ensue with any virtual session.

Is the Wi-Fi spotty to the point that the client’s responses are delayed, leading to talking over each other? Is a client’s body language difficult to read on-screen, or are they tenser and more reluctant to open up? Is privacy a never-ending challenge? The task of organizing a successful group session over a virtual platform was certainly daunting to me.

Despite my apprehension, our first quarantined men’s group session was one of the best we have had in the nearly two years the group has been running. The reason? There was a true need to connect.

Our meetings are facilitated as an open group, and we recently welcomed a few new members virtually, but it takes the life of a closed group because of the culture of camaraderie. The men in our group are all going through something different, and we cover topics ranging from marriage and parental struggles to loss and relationship dynamics. The demographic makeup of the group is diverse, but because of the support the guys feel when sharing their current life stressors (sometimes in great depth), there is often a sense of inhabiting common ground. Once we got used to the Brady Bunch-looking setup of the virtual platform, we didn’t skip a beat in this regard. The synergy we had developed over time carried over to make the virtual group setting still feel organic and comforting.

Irvin Yalom has popularized 11 therapeutic principles for high-functioning groups, and among those key principles are universality and instillation of hope. In these emotionally turbulent times, the cohesiveness felt in group therapy can take on new meaning because of the umbrella of uncertainty we are living under. And the need to foster optimism during a global crisis has been catapulted to the forefront.

What follows is a look at three important ways virtual group therapy can bolster clients’ mental health during unprecedented challenges.

Addressing uncertainties: One ripple effect of the COVID-19 pandemic has been the hit to the economy that left many workers jobless, furloughed or taking significant pay cuts. That’s where the power of catharsis comes in.

Throughout our group’s spring meetings, one common theme the guys shared was how discombobulated they felt by the uncertainty of everything, especially economically. Upon soliciting feedback, many group members shared that it was helpful simply to air out those feelings and connect with others universally.

Checking in on self-care: Quarantining drastically complicates the goal of maintaining proper self-care. The World Health Organization (WHO) has suggested a rise in depression as a result of routines and livelihoods being altered.

Of course, standard self-care practices for many men (going to the gym, drinking beers at a bar, playing contact-centric sports) quickly fell out of the picture as the pandemic escalated. That pushed our group members to get more innovative and imaginative.

One of our guys ramped up from-home workouts. Another started calling one new friend each day. Another started a Star Wars marathon. Another began virtual guitar lessons. Another started baking for the first time ever (desperate times indeed!). This is where the altruism offered by group becomes an emotional springboard. In sharing their strengths and creative ideas, each member’s self-esteem received a boost.

Creating much-needed positive connection. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has recommended connecting with others and “talking with people you trust” during times of quarantine. Participating in happy hour with co-workers over Zoom or hosting informal college reunions over Facebook Messenger can undoubtedly offer a great morale boost.

The difference between those types of meetups and a therapeutic group can be found in the layers of emotionality present. Raw feelings of “I miss my kids” or “Nothing I do is ever enough for my wife” take on a different tone in a group that fosters emotional processing vs. another round of drinks.

One important element to consider is the idea of connection provided by social media and how an overconsumption of that medium can actually be detrimental to well-being. That’s especially the case when it comes to ingesting news that often has negative headlines. The WHO recommends limiting news consumption and taking in at least one positive story each day. To honor that guidance, consider starting or ending virtual group meetings by having each group member share a positive story.

Every class I took for my online master’s program at Northwestern University’s Family Institute was over a virtual platform. So, in many ways, I was trained in a digital arena, with case conceptualization and role-plays constructed in Zoom breakout rooms. One of my biggest takeaways from that experience was how close I actually became with my classmates. We had met in person maybe once before graduation, yet there was a potent bond that was fostered through the intimacy of a computer screen.

I feel a similar sense of unity now in virtual counseling groups. In a day and age when physical touch is less plentiful, togetherness has never been more vital for all of us.

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Scott Gleeson is a licensed professional counselor at DG Counseling in Downers Grove, Illinois, and Chicago. Contact him at scottmgleeson@gmail.com.

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Opinions expressed and statements made in articles appearing on CT Online should not be assumed to represent the opinions of the editors or policies of the American Counseling Association.

Supporting families with engagement strategies during COVID-19

By Carson Eckard June 18, 2020

To combat the toxic stress caused by the COVID-19 pandemic, I have created a list of activities to positively engage children during this time. The following list includes a description of what each activity is, what materials are needed (with an understanding that many families are under financial hardship) and the possible psychological benefits of the activity.

These activities are designed for entire families, including adults, to reduce stress and promote healing during the pandemic. Most of these activities can be done either inside or outside and can be tailored to individual interests, ages and ability levels.

Obstacle course

This activity will get the whole family moving. Use objects around the house to get the family involved. This could include climbing under or over chairs, throwing a bundle of socks into a laundry basket, spinning, using paper strips in place of lasers, and so on.

Inside, a slower pace can be taken to ensure that nothing gets broken and no one gets hurt. If you have access to an outdoor space or a sidewalk in front of your home, you can create an obstacle course out of chalk. Here’s an example.

This website includes a list of materials to use.

This slideshow has ideas for children in wheelchairs.

Materials: Whatever you have in the house

Ages: Toddlers and early elementary-age children

Psychological benefit: Obstacle courses can target many aspects of a child’s brain, including sensory input, motor planning, coordination, sequencing and problem-solving. They can also reduce psychological stress and anxiety. When more people participate, the teamwork and competition can provide some of the social interaction children have been missing from environments such as school.

Broadway play

This activity allows children to engage in imaginary play by creating plots to their own stories. When the story is written, have the child cast the characters in the story, find props (or imagine them) and direct the scene. If there aren’t enough family members to act out the scene, consider playing multiple parts at once or having the child draw the characters instead. Children may need direction and prompting, but allow them to be in control of constructing their own narrative. Activities that could be added include constructing sets and props and making movie posters.

Materials: Whatever you have in the house — paper, markers, drawing materials, prop-making materials and so on

Ages: Toddlers through early middle school age

Psychological benefit: During the pandemic, children may be struggling with an inability to control the situation. When they are able to control a scene and story in a healthy way, it can reduce their stress and promote individuality and resilience. Furthermore, creativity reduces anxiety and depression and can help children process toxic stress.

Board games and card games

When everyone is stuck at home, board games and card games are a great option for helping the entire family to connect. For younger kids, games such as Go Fish, Candy Land, and Guess Who? could be hits, whereas older kids may like Monopoly, Clue, and Sorry!

If you don’t have any board games at home, use paper or cardboard to create your own. WikiHow has information on steps to take when you’d like to create your own board game. Make sure your child is part of the creative process of creating the game if you choose to make your own.

For more information on why board games are good for a child’s mental health, as well as a breakdown of age-appropriate games, check this link from Manhattan Psychology Group.

Materials: Cardboard, paper, markers, small toys, etc.

Ages: Any

Psychological benefit: Playing fun games decreases anxiety and can increase confidence in children. Some games include aspects of problem-solving and can access the cortex for children who feel safe. Board games allow for healthy cognitive and social development for children.

Mazes and finger labyrinths

Mazes and finger labyrinths are easily made at home. They are a great brain teaser for kids and can also be extremely relaxing. Finger labyrinths are just like mazes, but instead of drawing a line to the exit, a finger is used to follow the path. When paired with deep breathing exercises, this can have a meditative quality.

For help on constructing labyrinths made out of materials such as rice, play dough, paperclips and more, go to this website.

The Labyrinth Society offers an online resource for downloadable and printable finger labyrinths.

The All Kids Network has many printable mazes for kids.

Materials: Paper, printer, something to write with

Ages: Whereas mazes are most engaging for children ages 3-6, finger labyrinths are a good mindfulness activity for children of all ages

Psychological benefit: Mazes offer many benefits to a child’s development, including problem-solving and motor control. Children will need patience and persistence to complete the puzzle and, once done, may experience a boost of confidence. Finger labyrinths originated in prayer but are also used as a grounding exercise.

Dance party

Turn up your favorite songs and get moving. Be sure to build a playlist the entire family can move to. Only upbeat jams! Spotify is a free service you can use to build playlists if you establish an account. Spotify playlists that might make for super fun dance parties can be found here. You may need to look around to find a playlist without explicit lyrics, but Spotify does offer an explicit content filter in its settings. Other free services include Amazon Music, Pandora, iHeartRadio and YouTube, but most have ads and can incorporate explicit lyrics, so be careful.

Materials: A phone, laptop, tablet or any device that plays music

Ages: Any

Psychological benefit: Dancing is both great exercise and a form of creative expression. Dancing keeps your heart healthy and muscles strong, improves coordination and balance, and provides an outlet for emotions. Music activates the cerebellum, stimulates the release of hormones that reduce stress, and improves self-esteem.

Karaoke party

On a similar note to a dance party, a karaoke party could be another viable option for the family. Because you want family members to sing, I recommend using YouTube and allowing each person to pick a song of their choice, unless you have a premium subscription for a music streaming service. As a finale, try singing a few songs that everyone knows together. For an added bonus, try creating a song by making your own lyrics and finding objects around the house to use as instruments.

Materials: A phone, laptop, tablet or any device that plays music; maybe a prop to use as a “microphone”

Ages: Any

Psychological benefit: Singing releases hormones that reduce stress and make us feel happy, improves mental alertness and helps us control our breath flow, which can help us regulate. Singing also helps children’s communication skills and self-esteem. Studies show that singing stimulates the vagus nerve responsible for our senses, motor function, digestion, respiration and heart rate. When stimulated, the vagus nerve reduces stress, lowers the heart rate and blood pressure, and reduces inflammation.

Play teacher

Let your child become the expert and pretend to be a teacher of whatever they are passionate about. This can take a more “formal” approach by pretending to be in school, or it can be more informal, simply asking them questions about the things they are interested in. This helps children realize that adults don’t know everything and allows them to develop as individuals.

Materials: None

Ages: Elementary school age (Note: It is beneficial and important to ask children of any age what their interests are to strengthen your relationship with them)

Psychological benefit: Taking on a formal “school” scenario involves imaginative play. Imaginative play allows children to experiment with different interests and skills. Furthermore, children who engage in pretend play are understanding social relationships, expressing and understanding emotions, expressing themselves both verbally and nonverbally, and practicing problem-solving skills. If imaginative play isn’t your cup of tea, have conversations with your child about what they are passionate about or interested in. Having these kinds of conversations will help you and your child relate to each other more.

Yoga

Although it may be difficult to practice advanced yoga poses with younger kids, it is possible to find something appropriate for their level. One of the most important aspects of yoga is breathing. Try doing the yoga poses with your child. Model a positive attitude and a willingness to try new poses, and compliment the child when poses are attempted. Make sure the poses are not too advanced for children or they may become frustrated.

Here is a free YouTube video of yoga poses that you can do with children. If you do not have access to a video device or the child would not benefit from structured instructions found in a video, you can find printable yoga poses from Kids Yoga Stories. If you and the child are new to yoga, it is vitally important to follow a guide to ensure that you are not hurting yourself or the child.

Materials: A guide to follow (either pictures or a video)

Ages: Any

Psychological benefit: It is no secret that yoga has therapeutic qualities such as offering a sense of calmness and relaxation. Furthermore, yoga enhances children’s flexibility, strength, coordination and body awareness. Doing yoga can reduce muscle tension held in our bodies and is another activity that stimulates the vagus nerve, which reduces stress, lowers the heart rate and blood pressure, and reduces inflammation.

Indoor sports

This category can depend on whether there is space to move around and interact with each other, but there are options for small spaces too. Each activity is meant to allow children to have fun and can be created with multiple objects around the house.

The Fatherly website has many ideas, such as balloon tennis, for bigger spaces. Roll up some paper and make a ball or a puck to kick, throw or hit around the house. Use a balloon to play volleyball or keep-up. If you have a smaller space, perhaps finger football might suit your needs.

Materials: Anything you can find around the house

Ages: Early elementary to early middle school age

Psychological benefit: If your family doesn’t have much space to run around and play, even the simplest games such as finger football increase coordination. In addition, these sports need multiple participants, which assists in the social development of the child.

Video games

Many video games are not family friendly or age appropriate for children. However, many options are available for younger kids both online and offline. PBS Kids offers many educational games for young children. Older kids may benefit from playing games online with their friends. Among popular options are Fortnite, Roblox, Minecraft, League of Legends and titles usually found on consoles, such as NBA 2K and Call of Duty. Many of these games are not free (some can be very expensive), and many are not appropriate for all kids. Have a conversation with the children in your life about what their friends are playing, and then set healthy boundaries around screen time.

There are also online video games that you can play with your family and friends. Popular options include Kahoot!, Jackbox Party Pack, digital board games through apps, Mario Kart Tour and others. Many of these games require only your phone or another device with internet access.

Materials: Games to play and something to play on

Ages: Any (as long as you monitor what games they are playing)

Psychological benefit: Your child is likely missing their friends from school and other environments. Allowing children to play video games with their friends online can help them stay connected and have fun. With all ages, video games offer an outlet for motor development, the release of stress relief hormones, social interaction, problem-solving, development of leadership skills, and increased alertness.

Call-and-response songs

If you’ve ever been to summer camp, call-and-response songs will be familiar to you. These songs are started by one person and imitated by another person or group. For children, particularly children with special needs, transitions between activities may be challenging. Side note: I worked at a summer camp with children with autism spectrum disorder, and mealtimes were one of the most stressful parts of the day for them. Singing a simple song such as “We put our foot up on the tree, we put our foot up on the tree, we put our feet up on the tree so that we can eat” makes these times less stressful for all.

Performing a quick redirect activity such as a call-and-response song can lighten the mood and offers a fun incentive for completing an activity. Although there are already call-and-response songs that you can utilize, you can also make your own (or change the words to an existing song) to suit the child’s needs. This activity could also be paired with dance moves or even a camp-themed day.

Go to Ultimate Camp Resource for a list of call-and-response songs. Design Improvised has a great list of themed summer camp ideas to use if you’d like to host a camp-themed day at home.

Materials: None

Ages: Toddler through elementary school age

Psychological benefit: Singing has profound mental health benefits. Singing forces a person to control their breathing. If someone is anxious and having trouble regulating their breathing, singing can help. Singing also improves mental alertness and confidence.

Grounding activities

The purpose of a grounding activity is to refocus on reality. It is particularly effective for children who suffer from anxiety, high levels of stress, trauma, dissociation, self-harm tendencies and suicidal thoughts. When children experience these events, they are more likely to enter a state of fight, flight or freeze because they feel they are in danger. Grounding techniques help move the brain from survival mechanisms to a calm state.

Although grounding activities are used in circumstances of higher emotion, they should be practiced often (and even when children are feeling happy) to ensure that children can perform them while in a dysregulated state of mind. You should take time out of the day for all family members to practice these skills together.

Sound search: Sit calmly in a comfortable position. The person lists the sounds they hear. Focusing on other senses helps bring the child back to safety and stabilization.

Coloring break: Although this is most effective for younger kids, it can be used for any age. Even if you do not have coloring pages, encourage the child to draw or color on a piece of paper. Support whatever they need to create in the moment. Crayola has printable coloring pages both for kids and adults.

Sensory bin: A sensory bin is a container filled with materials to stimulate the senses. You must know what types of sensations the child feels are soothing and what sensations may make the child excited. When used with soothing objects such as water or sand, a child may be able to focus on the container instead of overwhelming thoughts. The good thing about sensory bins is that they are easy to make and easy to store when needed. This technique is used mainly with younger kids, but a child of any age may appreciate a sensory bin if it is filled with the appropriate objects. Go to Your Kids Table for a list of ideas on what to put inside a sensory bin.

Positive affirmations: Building a mantra, based on a child’s strengths, that the child can repeat when they are feeling overwhelmed may be beneficial. The idea of having a child repeat a positive mantra when overwhelmed is to help the brain focus not only on the words they are saying but also on the breath needed to form the words. Whenever a family member or friends see the child becoming overwhelmed, they can support the child by guiding the child through the mantra.

Breathing techniques: You can teach children to utilize many different breathing techniques. Breathing exercises calm the brain’s reactions to threats by getting more oxygen. The adult should make sure the child has no anxiety about breath retention and that the child is slow and intentional instead of hyperventilating. If the child is hyperventilating, try to get them to exhale longer than they inhale. Model the techniques for them. Repeat the technique for as long as it takes the child to calm down. Breathing techniques take many forms, such as:

Sniff the Flower, Blow Out the Candle: The child imagines holding a flower in one hand and a candle in the other. The child must focus on breathing in through their nose while bringing the “flower” to their face, as if sniffing it, and then exhaling out the mouth while bringing the “candle” to their face.
4-7-8 breathing: The child should breathe in through the nose for 4 seconds, hold their breath for 7 seconds, and exhale out their mouth for 8 seconds.
One-nostril breath: The child should place their finger over one nostril and breathe in deeply. The child should then switch to the other nostril and breathe out.

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Carson Eckard is a rising second-year graduate student in the community and trauma counseling program at Thomas Jefferson University. He graduated with his B.S. in psychology from Thomas Jefferson University in December 2019. He is passionate about advocating for clients, particularly LGBTQ+ youth. Contact him at Carson.Eckard@jefferson.edu.

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Opinions expressed and statements made in articles appearing on CT Online should not be assumed to represent the opinions of the editors or policies of the American Counseling Association.