Tag Archives: teenager

Inviting young people to talk about mental health

By Jonathan Rollins March 29, 2019

Lady Gaga is known for her candor and openness when it comes to speaking about her struggles with mental health. But as her mother, Cynthia Germanotta acknowledges that she didn’t initially understand why her famous daughter felt compelled to share so candidly — and without prompting — from the stage.

Over time, however, Germanotta’s perspective changed, especially as she began noticing that when Lady Gaga recounted her struggles, there was almost a visible sense of relief on the faces of many of her fans. “What I came to realize is that [in sharing these details], she was healing and her fans were healing. … I think the fans eventually came to hear her message of resilience and courage as much as the music.”

Speaking in front of approximately 4,000 attendees during her keynote talk Friday morning at the American Counseling Association 2019 Conference & Expo in New Orleans, Germanotta said that experience was the genesis of the Born This Way Foundation, a nonprofit that she and Lady Gaga co-founded in 2012 to empower youth and to eliminate the stigma around mental health.

Today, Germanotta said, she and the other Born This Way Foundation staff members “spend our days inviting conversations around mental health.” One of those staff members, Executive Director Maya Enista Smith, joined Germanotta on stage to facilitate the keynote presentation.

Germanotta shared some of her famous daughter’s backstory, telling the audience that when Lady Gaga (real name, Stefani) was in middle school, she faced a significant degree of taunting and humiliation. This caused her to question her self-worth and resulted in struggles with depression and trauma. These experiences “followed her to high school and college,” Germanotta said, and continued to plague her into her adult life.

As she found her voice, however, Lady Gaga decided to channel that hurt into helping others. She told her mother that she wished she had been better equipped to deal with life’s struggles as a young person and had a desire to give today’s youth the necessary tools to do what she couldn’t at the time.

According to Germanotta, in research conducted through the Born This Way Foundation, access to care (particularly access to affordable care) and simply not knowing where to turn for help are among the top issues impacting youth mental health. In one of the foundation’s studies, it was found that more than 90 percent of youth said they valued their mental health (even more than said they valued their physical health). However, less than 50 percent reported feeling that they had the tools to practice good mental health or knew where to turn for help.

“It’s important to treat mental health; it’s even more important to foster it,” Germanotta said.

Part of overcoming this barrier is simply inviting young people to have conversations around mental health and then giving or pointing them to the tools they need to help themselves and their peers. One of the Born This Way Foundation’s initiatives has been developing a Teen Mental Health First Aid program, developed in partnership with young people, that will be piloted in eight schools later this year.

One of the best things that parents can do — including parents who just so happen to be counselors — is to talk to their children about mental health, Germanotta said. She acknowledged that these discussions can sometimes be awkward, but “normalizing that conversation around mental health” can be a huge source of support for young people and provide them many of the tools they are missing. She also recommended that parents model this talk around the dinner table, “being very honest and open about your own issues and stressors.” One of the main reasons that teenagers don’t turn to their parents for help with mental health struggles is because they don’t hear their parents share about their own challenges openly, Germanotta said.

As for steps that counselors can take, Germanotta again stressed that “young people are struggling with not knowing where to go for that help. … Help them find you, what you do, and what resources are available to them.”

She also said that “one size does not fit all concerning what the answer or resource might be. You really can’t be prescriptive. … It comes back to meeting young people where they are and understanding their needs.”

Finally, Germanotta gave counselors a reminder: “Check your judgment at the door when talking to young people.” Feeling judged is one of the biggest reasons that young people choose not to open up and talk to adults about their struggles, she said.

Germanotta also invited counselors to partner and collaborate with the Born This Way Foundation in reaching young people. “It’s going to take us all,” she said. “We can’t do this alone. … The hope that I have is that this issue is being more recognized every day on a larger scale.”

When Lady Gaga was in college, some of her fellow students started a Facebook page called “Stefani Germanotta Will Never Be Famous.” Perhaps they didn’t realize how hurtful their words and actions might be to a young woman’s emotional and mental health. Regardless, they certainly missed the mark when it came to prognosticating the future Lady Gaga’s worldwide level of recognition and influence.

Fortunately, Lady Gaga is passionate about using her stage not just to boost her own fame, but to preach a message of resilience, kindness and courage — and to validate that it’s perfectly OK to live with, and seek help for, mental health issues.

Germanotta recounted to ACA Conference attendees what her daughter has told her: “Of course I want to be remembered for my music, but what I most want to be remembered for is helping young people change the world.”

*****

Find out more about the Born This Way Foundation at bornthisway.foundation

****

In her own words

Read more about Germanotta’s perspective and experience through two articles she has written:

 

*****

Jonathan Rollins is the editor-in-chief of Counseling Today. Contact him at jrollins@counseling.org.

Follow Counseling Today on Twitter @ACA_CTonline and on Facebook at facebook.com/CounselingToday.

****

Opinions expressed and statements made in articles appearing on CT Online should not be assumed to represent the opinions of the editors or policies of the American Counseling Association.

 

Volcanic adolescence

By Chris Warren-Dickins January 14, 2019

In the early days, Caroline, a 14-year-old girl, started each session with a chin thrust indignantly at her counselor. She wanted to be seen as a warrior, and she offered answers that were blunt as a sledgehammer.

And why should she drop her defenses? She had seen too many adults — teachers, social workers, friends of the family — try to engage with her at first, and then seemingly lose interest. In the end, she felt that she was just an inconvenience to everyone around her. Why should Caroline believe that this counselor would offer a different type of relationship?

With any new client comes the challenge of forming a therapeutic relationship, but when that new client is an adolescent, there are additional factors to consider. Aside from the legal issues of capacity and consent, I discuss 10 of those therapeutic factors below.

 

1) A holistic assessment: It is important to adopt a strengths-based approach to assessment of adolescents. In addition, it is worth reviewing that assessment more regularly than with an adult client because more things are likely to change with a growing adolescent. As Urie Bronfenbrenner pointed out, a young person’s development is the result of a complex system of relationships that constitute the child’s environment. Therefore, assessments of young clients will include their developmental needs, the extent to which caregivers are meeting their needs, and their family and environmental contexts, including the influence that their school and peers have on them. The assessment should also gauge the influence of technology in the young person’s life.

2) Emotional “distance” from problems: As an adolescent, Caroline needs her counselor to appreciate that she does not have the same “distance” as adults experience from their problems. Adolescents have little control over their lives. They have to stay in the same home or school, even if these things might be the source of their depression, anxiety or other presenting issue.

3) Grasp of emotional language: As a 14-year-old, Caroline still has not developed her emotional language, so volcanic eruptions of anger or shoulder shrugs of apparent indifference are her only means of expressing how she feels. We have to see past the shoulder shrugging, which can easily be interpreted as nonchalance, and open ourselves to the possibility that young clients want to express themselves but just don’t know how to yet.

Images are a useful starting point, even if it is just looking at a series of facial expressions to try and help these clients identify the emotions they are experiencing.

4) The dominance of transition: Transition features heavily in adolescents’ lives. Each year, they are at a different stage of educational development and, each year, they experience bodily changes. On top of all of this, their ideas about who they are and how they fit in with their peers and wider society are in a constant state of flux.

At this level of fluidity, a counselor can offer Caroline some sort of stability. One source of this stability can be the therapist’s professional boundaries. The counselor can also offer Caroline the benefit of his or her life experiences, providing a deeper context than Caroline’s young perspective. But the counselor’s older years and life experience do not provide complete insight, no matter what the client’s presenting issues is, so a person-centered approach is crucial. We, as counselors, do not know Caroline’s worldview until we explore it with her, and we have to be careful not to make too many assumptions.

5) Disruption tenfold: It is hard for adolescents to experience so much transition, but it is even harder to manage at the same time as dealing with mental or physical health challenges, a chaotic home life or a sudden major change experienced by the adolescent’s parents (e.g., job loss, divorce, bereavement).

Because of the volcanic eruptions of adolescence, there is a danger that adolescents will become scapegoats in these situations. Just because adolescents may shout the loudest does not mean they are the source of the problems. Often, parents bring their adolescents for therapy, and these adults are completely unwilling to consider that the need for change might also rest on their own shoulders, rather than expecting just the adolescent to change and the whole family dynamic to become settled.

6) Discrimination experienced by minority adolescents: If an adolescent client is a member of the LGBTQ community or is an ethnic minority, it is likely that they have endured some sort of discrimination. If adolescents have to make sense of this — in addition to the transitions they are experiencing in their bodies, at school and at home — it can be challenging to deal with.

Is it any wonder that we sometimes see volcanic behavior in adolescents in the form of outbursts and defiance, screamed at us in a burning rage? If we are to help these youngsters, we have to see past the behavior that spews out like lava. We must dare to imagine what unmet needs might be fueling this volcano.

To help us, we can consider Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, and we can assess to what extent our adolescent clients may be getting their basic physiological needs met. Perhaps they are hungry, or there is the constant threat of homelessness hanging over them. Or perhaps their basic safety needs aren’t being met because domestic violence is present in the home. We can continue working our way up Maslow’s hierarchy (love/belonging, esteem and, ultimately, self-actualization) to understand what unmet needs may be fueling what appears on the surface to be irrational and unacceptable behavior.

7) Trauma-informed care: If the adolescent has a history of trauma, it is especially important to see past his or her volcanic eruptions of anger. In a 2017 article in Counseling Today about young clients in foster care (“Fostering a brighter future”), Stephanie Eberts states that therapists need to “help these children heal” by acting as a “translator” of the child’s behavior: “This includes explaining what a child’s behavior means and what motivates it, and then equipping both the child and the parents … with tools to redirect the behavior and better cope with tough emotions.”

8) Testing (to discover and take reassurance from) the boundaries: Adolescents may test boundaries more than adult clients do. Modeling behavior is important, and this is where congruence comes into play. If young clients are constantly pushing the boundaries by turning up late to sessions or missing them entirely, you can communicate the resulting emotion you are experiencing as a result of their behavior.

I like to think of this like a sonar device: Young clients are checking to see if you are still emotionally there and whether they are also still present in the interaction. You can share this with young clients, showing that certain behavior has consequences. Then you can jointly look for a way to resolve the matter.

Psychotherapist Rozsika Parker wrote about parents’ relationships with their children, but the following statements could apply equally to counselors and their young clients. Young clients “need to learn that they have an impact, that it’s possible to hurt” an adult, but it is also possible to “make it up with them.” Parker encourages adults to “show joy, hate, love, satisfaction — the full range of emotions — that will help the child to know themselves.” Parker wrote that she “heard the same note of reproach in their wails when they teethed, as in the studied criticism of me they could launch as teenagers.”

9) The resistant adolescent: As with any resistant client, adolescents need to feel that they are choosing to be in the sessions. But what happens if they are given no choice? If a therapist is working with a young client and the client’s family, and the young client chooses to leave the session early, what should the approach be?

I have heard some therapists adopt the following approach: They tell young clients that they are free to return to the session at any time but that the session will continue with the other family members. I quite like this approach because it avoids sessions becoming hijacked and held hostage by young clients, which might be a parallel process to other times in which these young clients have held more power than they knew how to handle. For example, they might have been forced to adopt a parental role with a younger sibling, or even a neglectful parent, at an inappropriately young age.

10) Mindfulness and meditation: I have seen and heard some of the criticisms of mindfulness and meditation. I struggle with this because, when I was starting out in this profession, my mentors raved about mindfulness and meditation. I need to see where this debate goes, but in the meantime, I cannot help but believe that there might be some value in mindfulness and meditation in our work with young clients.

Everything we offer our clients involves a balancing act between thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations. Society is built to engage the thinking side of our awareness, and this casts a shadow over our feelings and bodily sensations. Yet all three are important sources of information. If we focus solely on our thoughts, we are arguably functioning at only a third of our capacity. Short and simple mindfulness or meditation exercises can help young clients tap all sources of information, while also giving them a moment of relief from the constant demands of life.

 

****

 

Chris Warren-Dickins is a licensed professional counselor in Ridgewood, New Jersey. Contact him through his website at exploretransform.com.

 

****

 

Opinions expressed and statements made in articles appearing on CT Online should not be assumed to represent the opinions of the editors or policies of the American Counseling Association.

From the President: A counseling focus on teens and young adults

Simone Lambert November 1, 2018

Simone Lambert, ACA’s 67th president

Today’s adolescents and emerging adults are facing an ever-changing world, with growing repercussions on their well-being and ability to be contributing members of society. Young people struggle with forming their identities, engaging in healthy relationships and navigating life transitions. In addition to confronting the challenges of these developmental tasks, approximately 20 percent of youth experience mental illness, including substance use disorders and mental disorders. Professional counselors are well-equipped to diagnose and treat mental health and substance use disorders, whether as stand-alone or co-occurring disorders.

As reported by the U.S. government website youth.gov, half of all mental health disorders have surfaced by age 14. Furthermore, by age 24, approximately 75 percent of adults who will have a mental health disorder in their lifetime have symptoms that meet diagnostic criteria. What this means is that professional counselors who work with youth in schools and in the community are ideally suited to engage in prevention services, screenings and early interventions to assist young people in obtaining needed counseling treatment.

Another major focus for youth is to seek academic studies that will prepare them for the world of work. Yet, a report by the Institute for the Future estimates that 85 percent of jobs in the year 2030 do not currently exist. Therefore, school-based and career counseling are essential components of preparing youth for the unknown within the career market. Professional counselors across settings will play a pivotal role in readying the upcoming U.S. workforce for impending changes related to technological advances.

As the World Health Organization points out, youth violence is another issue that needs to be addressed. Again, professional counselors are part of the solution, providing early intervention and treatment for those who are at risk of engaging in violent behavior and for those who are victims of such violence. Other forms of trauma-informed counseling for youth center on natural disasters, sexual assault, abuse and neglect.

In addition, many youth endure disabilities or chronic illnesses such as diabetes, fibromyalgia and epilepsy. These life-altering physical diagnoses have widespread impact on adolescents and emerging adults in relation to their mental health. Furthermore, typical developmental tasks may be delayed or impeded. Thus, youth may benefit from counseling focused on specialty areas of rehabilitation, school, career and mental health when living with a medical condition.

Professional counselors can facilitate resiliency, wellness and recovery by providing prevention and treatment services to adolescents and emerging adults. We can assist youth in sustaining optimal mental health and reaching their academic and career goals. To do that, we need to engage youth within our counseling rooms and advocate on their behalf with families, school personnel and policymakers.

There are myriad ways you can be a youth mental health advocate. Let your state legislators know that you support the inclusion of mental health education in school curricula, as has been done in New York and Virginia. At the state and federal levels, fight for youth to have access to mental health care and addiction counseling in schools, colleges and communities. Engage in culturally sensitive and developmentally appropriate prevention and screening within your own work setting. Start planning how you can engage in youth-focused public awareness activities during the American Counseling Association’s Counseling Awareness Month (counseling.org/events/counseling-awareness-month-2018) and the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration’s National Prevention Week (samhsa.gov/prevention-week). Finally, partake in professional development related to youth mental health, substance abuse, career issues, risk assessments and trauma-informed care.

Professional counselors can assist youth in overcoming past, present and future challenges and obstacles. Collectively, we can all share our counseling expertise and advocacy efforts to help today’s youth be ready for tomorrow. 

 

***

The ‘storm and stress’ of adolescence and young adulthood

By Laurie Meyers October 25, 2018

For much of human history, the idea of adolescence being a distinct life stage was nonexistent. True, in the Middle Ages, children were recognized not merely as “mini” adults but as distinct beings with different needs. However, the years from ages 13 to 19 were not considered part of childhood until the turn of the 19th century. Instead, the “teen years” were the time when one began to assume adult responsibilities such as making a living and starting a family.

During the late 1800s, changes in child labor laws and the push for universal education for those under the age of 16 began to influence society’s perspective on when adulthood began. G. Stanley Hall, the first president of the American Psychological Association (APA), is credited with the modern “discovery” of adolescence, defining it in a 1904 book as a new developmental stage — created by societal changes — in which children grow into adults. Hall described adolescence as a time of “storm and stress” and, unlike later researchers, ascribed this life stage as lasting from ages 14-24 (rather than today’s generally accepted range of 13-19).

Although adolescence is still considered to be synonymous with the teen years, Hall’s instinct to single out the early 20s as different from later “adult” years was prescient. In the past decade, neurological research has discovered that the brain does not fully mature until one’s mid-to-late 20s. This revelation has spurred many researchers, particularly in mental health fields, to call for a separate developmental stage that is generally referred to as “young” or “emerging” adulthood.

Adding more than a soupçon of complication to both the recognition of emerging adulthood and the established research on adolescence is the reality that being a teen or 20-something in the information age is, in many ways, significantly different — and arguably more difficult — than it was for previous generations.

Stressed and depressed

An abundance of research indicates that teens and young adults are experiencing increased levels of stress and depression. In recent years, APA’s annual “Stress in America” survey has gathered data only on adults. However, in the survey released in 2014, “Stress in America: Are Teens Adopting Adults’ Stress Habits?” young people ages 13-17 were also included.

Survey respondents reported that during the school year, they had a stress level of 5.8 on a 10-point scale. During the summer break, teens reported a slight decrease in stress levels — 4.6 on a 10-point scale. Furthermore, 31 percent of survey respondents said that their stress levels had increased over the past year. In response to their high levels of stress, 40 percent of respondents reported feeling irritable or angry, 36 percent reported feeling nervous or anxious, 36 percent reported feeling fatigued or tired, and 31 percent reported feeling overwhelmed.

Depression is another significant concern among adolescents. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, in 2016 (the most recent year for which statistics are available), an estimated 3.1 million adolescents ages 12-17 experienced at least one major depressive episode. That number represented 12.8 percent of the U.S. population in that age bracket.

Although most mental health surveys do not specifically target “young” or developing adults, data are available relating to college students. Among the more than 31,000 college students who completed the 2017 American College Health Association National College Health Assessment, 39.3 percent reported being so depressed that they found it hard to function at some point during the previous 12 months. Anxiety levels among respondents were even higher: 60.9 percent reported feeling overwhelming anxiety at some point during the prior year.

The high levels of anxiety and depression indicated in these studies are part of a national pattern of significantly increasing distress. A national poll published in May by the American Psychiatric Association noted a sharp increase in American anxiety levels over the past year. On a scale of 0-100, this year’s “national anxiety score” was a 51 — a five-point jump since 2017. A study published in the June 2018 issue of the journal Psychological Medicine found that rates of depression rose across all age brackets of Americans for those 12 and over from 2005 to 2015. Most significantly, among those ages 12-17, depression rates increased from 8.7 percent in 2005 to 12.7 percent in 2015.

Under pressure

Some researchers are eager to blame technology — particularly social media — for the increase of depression and anxiety among teenagers and young adults. The reality is more complex and involves myriad factors.

It is undeniable that some people do find their lives lacking when compared with what they see on social media. Carefully curated Facebook feeds can suggest to them that their friends are happier and more successful than they are. Celebrity photos on Instagram — most of which are professionally produced and heavily filtered — can encourage unrealistic expectations about body image and personal appearance. However, when one considers the role that social media plays in the quest for perfection, it may be something of a chicken-and-egg scenario.

A 2017 study on perfectionism that appeared in the journal Psychological Bulletin found that beginning in the 1980s, a culture of “competitive individualism” in the United States, Canada and the United Kingdom steadily increased the quest for personal perfection. So, is what we see on social media pushing us toward unattainable standards of perfection, or is it a reflection of the pressure we put on ourselves? At this point in time, we may be caught in a reinforcing loop. The study found that current generations not only feel intense societal pressure to be perfect but also expect perfection from themselves and others. The study’s authors also believe that this rise in perfectionism may be linked to an increase in myriad psychological problems.

Today’s teenagers and young adults are unquestionably subject to high expectations and demands. Licensed mental health counselor David Flack, who has worked with adolescents and young adults for 20 years, says he has seen a significant increase in anxiety related to academic performance among his clients.

“It is not uncommon for teens I meet with to have three, four or even more hours of homework most days,” he says. This reality creates significant pressure and is particularly stressful for students who are predisposed to anxiety. Flack, a member of the American Counseling Association, also believes that such heavy academic workloads are interfering with important social and developmental processes because many teenagers may be spending more time doing homework than socializing and engaging in extracurricular or other age-appropriate activities.

Licensed professional counselor (LPC) Sean Roberts, an ACA member who specializes in working with young adults, says he has witnessed a precipitous increase in anxiety among clients. He thinks this is strongly, though not solely, linked to teenagers and young adults feeling increased pressure to succeed.

Not coincidentally, the anxiety they experience makes it only more difficult for them to achieve. “Anxiety has a neurological effect,” explains ACA member Amy Gaesser, an assistant professor of counselor education at the State University of New York at Brockport whose research focuses on the social and emotional well-being of students in school. “The survival part of the brain activates and shuts off or interferes with the parts of the brain that help us think clearly.”

This can have a significant effect on academic performance, says Gaesser, a certified school counselor in New York who gives presentations and offers private consultations with parents. For example, some students can study extensively and be fully prepared for a test, but because of their anxiety, can have trouble accessing that information while taking the test. Anxiety can also interfere with the ability to take in and synthesize information, Gaesser says. Students become frustrated with their seeming inability to “get it,” which affects their feelings of self-efficacy and can even make them question their level of intelligence. Once a pattern of academic difficulty tied to anxiety is established, the problem can become self-perpetuating.

Disrupting the cycle is vital, says Gaesser, who recommends the emotional freedom technique (EFT) as an effective method of interrupting the stress response and downregulating the brain. In EFT, participants respond to stressful thoughts or situations by visualizing an alternative outcome while taking their hands and tapping acupuncture points on the body that have been linked to stress reduction. Students can go through the whole sequence of body points or just use the areas they find work best for them, she says.

Gaesser also recommends the “4-7-8” breathing method as a quick way to interrupt the stress response. This involves breathing in for four seconds, holding the breath for seven seconds and then breathing out for eight seconds. Students can practice this method themselves, but Gaesser thinks that teachers should also use it in their classrooms as a way to begin class.

Peter Allen, an LPC based in Oregon who specializes in counseling young adults and adolescents, used to work with teenagers in a wilderness therapy setting. Most of his clients were struggling with a variety of issues, including substance abuse, conduct problems (although not usually at the conduct disorder level) and mood disorders, principally depression and anxiety. In most cases, Allen says, the core elements of the wilderness setting were effective in helping these clients address their various presenting issues.

In part, he believes that’s because the pressures of school, family and social life were stripped away, leaving these teenage clients to focus on the basics, such as securing food and shelter. Surviving in the wilderness also required working together and building a community, which helped teach clients new communication skills. Participants also got daily exercise, ate healthy meals and were required to follow a regular sleep schedule, all of which had a calming and stabilizing effect. “Once diet, sleep and exercise have been regulated, about half of the problems disappear right away,” Allen says.

Many wilderness therapy clients also benefit from what Allen calls “expanding the size of their world. … If you are a 15-year-old kid and doing bad at school, arguing with your parents, your world is tiny.” The wilderness program not only provided literal wide-open spaces, but also introduced clients to people from different places and adults who didn’t have the same expectations as the teenagers’ parents or teachers did.

The wilderness can also serve as a mirror for clients, says Roberts, who has also worked in wilderness therapy, or, as he says it is becoming more commonly known, outdoor behavioral health care. For instance, when clients who struggle with executive function and organization encounter bad weather for which they are not prepared, the experience can be a vivid demonstration of the importance of working on those problem areas. Another example: Someone who is struggling with distress tolerance will need to get used to having to build a fire after hiking all day.

Information overload?

Although none of the counselors interviewed for this article view social media or technology as inherently negative, they agree that living in the information age is complicated. The current generation of teens and young adults is awash in an unprecedented flood of information, asserts Roberts, clinical director at Cascade Crest Transitions, a program that provides support to young adults struggling to launch their independence by attending college or obtaining a job. He maintains that this technological bombardment not only is difficult to assimilate but also can encourage the tendency to “get stuck” in one’s own head.

Allen adds that in the age of the internet, children and adolescents are exposed to a lot of information and knowledge at an earlier age than previous generations were. In certain cases, it is information that they may not have the maturity to handle. For example, most children and adolescents who grew up in the latter half of the 20th century had to somehow get their hands on a copy of Playboy or another adult magazine to satisfy their sexual curiosity. Today’s children and teens are exposed online to myriad genres of easy-to-access pornography, which not only present unrealistic ideals of sexuality but also can include disturbing practices such as bestiality and pedophilia. Children and young adolescents today are also more likely to be exposed to media coverage of frightening or horrific events before they have the ability to contextualize all that they are taking in, Allen says. He believes this early exposure is contributing to a kind of “nonspecific existential dread” that he says he commonly sees in his clients.

Roberts says that technology offers many positive benefits, but it also sometimes provides adolescents and young adults with a means to avoid their problems. He stresses the need for counselors to learn more about the draw of technology so that they can help clients evaluate whether they are using it in positive or negative ways. Roberts gives gaming as an example. For those who know little about it, gaming may seem like an excuse to “do nothing.” In reality, he says, it is a legitimate hobby that can provide enjoyment, stress release and even a sense of community while boosting problem-solving skills. However, like any other activity, when gaming gets in the way of schoolwork, chores or getting out of the house, it becomes a problem to be addressed, he says.

Another complicated aspect of online life is social media. For all the potential benefits, social media feeds have made it so that virtually no part of life is private anymore, Allen says. Many adolescents may not fully understand that by making everything public, the internet is, in essence, “forever” or grasp the potential ramifications of that reality, he says. In addition, he notes, social media feeds can encourage social contagion.

ACA member Amanda LaGuardia, a former private practitioner whose research focuses on self-harm, agrees. Much of the social media content targeted to young girls is focused on body image, says LaGuardia, a licensed professional counselor supervisor in Texas and a licensed professional clinical counselor supervisor in Ohio. Many of her former clients talked about the images they saw on Instagram, such as already-thin celebrities discussing “thigh gap” (as part of a supposedly “perfect” body, women and girls must have thighs that don’t touch each other) and other unrealistic physical standards. Such posts are usually popular, garnering a large number of likes and admiring comments, which gives girls the impression that this is what their bodies should look like, she says.

However, such standards are unrealistic for most females and are simply unachievable for girls with developing bodies, continues LaGuardia, an assistant professor at the University of Cincinnati. Regardless, these images are presented as the feminine ideal, presuming to highlight all of the elements that will make women attractive to men. At the same time, girls are often subject to sexual harassment at school and too often told by those in authority “that’s just how boys are” (boys will be boys) and that girls just need to find a way to deal with it, she says.

All of these messages about how girls should look and act and what they should accept come at a time when they are already struggling to figure out who they are. It is overwhelming, and self-injury is becoming a more common way to cope with the distress. Self-harm used to be most common in the eating disorder population, but according to LaGuardia, social media has introduced it to a wider audience. It isn’t necessarily that self-injury is presented as a positive behavior online. Most people who talk about it on social media are seeking support, she says. However, the widespread nature of the discussion has created social contagion.

The best thing counselors can do to help is listen and affirm, LaGuardia emphasizes. When adolescents talk about their experiences, some counselors focus on helping them feel better about themselves, but that is not what they need most, she asserts. Instead, adolescents need to express what they are going through and to process their confusion verbally. Counselors should respond, she suggests, by saying things such as, “That sounds really difficult” and “I’m here and I’m listening.”

“So many of the messages they [adolescents] are receiving are controlling,” LaGuardia explains. “They need to feel in control.”

As these clients become more comfortable, they will begin to talk about how they are coping with their turmoil. LaGuardia explains that these clients view self-injury as a means of surviving what they are currently experiencing, not a solution. “I ask clients, ‘Is this something you see working for you for the rest of your life?’ I’ve never had anyone say yes.”

Usually, LaGuardia notes, clients will say that they hope not to engage in self-harm forever, but at the current time, they don’t know what else to do. At that point, counselors can ask whether this coping method is something the client is ready to change. LaGuardia says the first step is finding out what the client needs help coping with and then exploring ways that will allow the client to cope without self-harm.

The most common underlying problem for clients who self-harm is conflict with a parent or sibling, LaGuardia says. In such cases, she works with the whole family on communication skills. She starts with the adolescent clients, teaching them how to express their needs without self-injury. She asks the adolescents to think about their most stressful conflicts and what they would like their parents to know. Then, through role-play, LaGuardia helps these clients practice asking for what they need.

Often, LaGuardia will also bring in the parents and have the adolescent express the source of conflict. As the parents and adolescent talk, things can get heated, so LaGuardia is there to help redirect the conversation. She also tries to educate parents about what adolescents need, which includes being treated as independent young adults and given space to grow, while at the same time knowing that their parents are always there to listen to them regardless of
the circumstances.

Adult transitions

Allen is the program director at College Excel, a residential, coaching-based college support program. The program’s clients are typically young adults who are coming out of high school and looking for extra support to succeed in college or those who previously attended college but dropped out because of a mental health issue or learning disability.

Many of the students have some level of anxiety and depression and often struggle with executive function deficits. College Excel provides the students with mental health support and coaching on life and study habits. Allen says he tries to run the program through the lens of good mental health practices. Calling on his background in wilderness therapy, he also encourages students to eat well, follow a consistent sleep schedule and get regular exercise. College Excel staff do not live on-site, but the program does provide students with housing, which helps them establish a sense of community and support — elements that are common among those who successfully adjust to college life, Allen points out.

Allen says that many of the program’s clients struggle with attention-deficit disorder and organization. College Excel staff teach students basic organizational skills such as using their attention strategically. For example, with students who struggle with memory and retaining information, Google Calendar can be a particularly useful tool. It can tell students where they need to be at any given moment, freeing up their attention and memory for other tasks.

Allen also talks with students about the importance of a clean workspace and provides them with practical tips on organization. For example, he says, students who constantly misplace things can save time and frustration by designating a space for pens, papers and other basics so that they will always know where to find them.

Students also work on developing good study habits. For example, rather than growing frustrated with their struggles to focus on what they’re reading for long periods of time, clients learn to study in 15- to 20-minute chunks, with five-minute breaks in between.

Roberts’ program is geared toward young adults who are coming from inpatient treatment and are ready to enter college or find a job. In addition to receiving ongoing mental health treatment, these clients take classes that focus on interpersonal skills, stress regulation, goal setting, time management and money management. They are also encouraged to exercise, and all students are matched with a case manager who helps them focus on sleep hygiene, peer interaction, health and nutrition, and, in some cases, dating.

Clients are required to attend one individual and one group counseling session per week. Counselors are also on-site five days a week, which allows them to give feedback outside of sessions. For example, a counselor might say to a student, “You say that you want to socialize, but you’re constantly retreating to your room or on the phone.” This opens up a discussion about why the student isn’t following through on counseling goals and allows the counselor and client to work on solutions together, Roberts says.

The students are usually enrolled in college or working when they start Roberts’ program. The coaching and classes take place around the students’ schedules, and staff members are available to help clients through whatever challenges they are facing in school or at work. Clients typically remain in the program about nine to 12 months. During the last six months, they move out of program housing and into their own apartments or college dorms.

Allen closes by noting that today’s adolescents and young adults — the oft-discussed millennials — are very much aware that older generations generally view them in a negative light. He believes this widespread maligning carries a psychic weight for this generation and can contribute to limiting their self-efficacy and sense of options.

Because this negative image of adolescents and young adults is so prevalent, Allen believes that even counselors may fall prey to it. “You can’t hold them in contempt and do good work,” he emphasizes. “The best thing we could be doing for them is stoking the fire of creativity.”

 

****

 

Additional resources

To learn more about the topics discussed in this article, take advantage of the following select resources offered by the American Counseling Association:

Counseling Today (ct.counseling.org)

Books and DVDs (counseling.org/publications/bookstore)

  • Youth at Risk, sixth edition, edited by David Capuzzi and Douglas R. Gross
  • A Contemporary Approach to Substance Use Disorders, second edition, by Ford Brooks and Bill McHenry
  • Active Interventions for Kids and Teens, by Jeffrey S. Ashby, Terry Kottman and Don DeGraaf
  • Suicide Assessment and Prevention, DVD, presented by John S. Westefeld

ACA Mental Health Resources (counseling.org/knowledge-center/mental-health-resources)

  • Suicide Prevention
  • Substance Use Disorders and Addiction
  • LGBTQ Resources

Webinars (aca.digitellinc.com/aca/pages/events)

  • “Depression/Bipolar” with Carmen S. Gill (CPA22120)
  • “Trauma/OCD/Anxiety” with Victoria E. Kress (CPA22118)
  • “Substance Abuse/Disruptive Impulse Control/Conduct Disorder” with Shannon Karl (CPA22116)
  • “Counseling Students Who Have Experienced Trauma: Practical Recommendations at the Elementary, Secondary and College Levels” with Richard Joseph Behun, Julie A. Cerrito and Eric W. Owens (CPA24339)

 

****

 

Laurie Meyers is the senior writer for Counseling Today. Contact her at lmeyers@counseling.org.

Letters to the editor: ct@counseling.org

 

****

 

Opinions expressed and statements made in articles appearing on CT Online should not be assumed to represent the opinions of the editors or policies of the American Counseling Association.

Counseling Connoisseur: Thanatechnology – Grief and loss in a digital world

By Cheryl Fisher June 8, 2018

Thanatechnology: Any kind of technology that can be used to deal with death, dying, grief, loss and illness.

 

Kelly (an alias), an eighth-grader, sits with her friends in the school auditorium as her principal calls out the names of each of her classmates who were killed in the recent shooting. To honor the lives of these young people, the school is hosting a remembrance ceremony. As tears run down her face, Kelly huddles close to her schoolmates and clicks away on her phone posting messages on several social network sites and a memorial site that she and her friends created. A text message pops up from a boy she met on one of the sites. He is a survivor of a school shooting that happened a couple of years ago — he understands.

Tony’s (alias) phone vibrates, rousing him from his slumber. He looks at the clock – it’s 2 a.m. He has to be up for school in just a few hours. He squints, trying to read the alert on his phone. Another teenager has died from drug overdose. He heaves a mournful sigh and turns on the bedside lamp. His phone begins to blow up with social media posts. The deceased didn’t attend his school but is related to his girlfriend’s best friend. Tony attempts to return to sleep, but he keeps thinking about the teenager [and] wondering why it happened.

Without a doubt, the youth of today are often exposed to significant and traumatic losses. Traditionally, we have marked death with rituals such as funerals and memorials and grieved with the support of counseling, faith communities and neighbors. In more recent years, technology has provided additional ways to remember and mourn, such as creating online memorials, seeking distant or virtual grief counseling and connecting with family, friends and even strangers without geographical limitations. It erases time and distance and allows for virtual experiences and expressions that promote a narrative that lives forever.

Digital Presence and Youth

In Dying, Death, and Grief in an Online Universe, researchers Kathleen R. Gilbert and Michael Massimi observe that digital technology can “bring people together for social support, provide information, and offer a venue for conducting grief work such as telling stories or building digital memorials.”

In another section of the book, researcher Carla Sofka writes that young people are even more likely to seek grief support online. Sofka explains that the internet, social media and other digital platforms are where younger generations are most comfortable because they provide opportunities for social interaction; a sense of independence and privacy; the ability to express and form their own identity; a sense of community that includes those that are marginalized; and instant alerts and communication. All of these elements allow youth to seek and find like-minded communities that can provide immediate support and strategies for coping with myriad life issues — including death and dying, and grief and loss.

 

Social Interaction

Online bereavement forums and chat rooms provide a sense of social connection with users. Sites such as Caring Bridge allow multiple users to maintain a virtual journal offering information and capturing narratives that are accessible to members. Tumblr, Facebook and Instagram create spaces where youth can just “hang out.” Video calling technology such as FaceTime and Skype bridge the distance between users and promote interaction and communication. Additionally, grief counseling may be offered via video, phone, chat or email formats.

Independence and Sense of Privacy

Teens turn to technology to carve out a private space for self-expression. However, research indicates that internet use often provides the illusion of anonymity, which may encourage a false sense of privacy. The struggle for privacy is nothing new: The tension between privacy and personal expression has existed between teens and parents for decades. In It’s Complicated: The Social Lives of Networked Teens, danah boyd*, principal researcher at Microsoft Research notes that social media introduced a new dimension to this age-old power struggle. Instead of worrying about what teens wear outside, parents are concerned about what pictures teens are posting about what they wear outside.

[*boyd prefers to spell her name with lowercase letters.]

“Although teens grapple with managing their identity and navigating youth-centric communities while simultaneously maintaining spaces for intimacy, they do so under the spotlight of a media ecosystem designed to publicize every teen fad, moral panic, and new hyped technology,” writes boyd.

Yet, online spaces allow for exploration of feelings and thoughts, examination of death anxiety, and expression of grief and loss. For example, a 14 year- old client crafted an entire mix of music and prose around the complicated emotions she experienced related to the death of her estranged father who had abused her as a little girl. Using an alias, she posted the eulogy online and watched as strangers connected with her, validating her feelings and experience.

Expression and Influence of Identity Formation

The internet provides creative space for expressing grief and honoring loved ones. Sites such as KIDSAID.com, offer children the opportunity to connect, interact and creatively express their grief. In addition to expressive sites and online memorial services such as Legacy, Remembered.com and Your Tribute provide an unfettered opportunity to honor loss, especially for those who are marginalized or disenfranchised. The use of letters, photos and sound provide rich and detailed memorials that allow users to express their grief, absorb their loss and ultimately move forward.

Sense of Community

Blogs provide a venue to capture experiences and to cultivate topic-based virtual communities. Boyd suggests that these constructed networks serve as a public place to interact with real and imagined communities, thus satisfying a desire to be part of a broader world.

Instant Alerts

Online communication is often in real time. Twitter, Snapchat and a variety of other digital sites offer instant notifications and ongoing engagement. Technology allows users to gather multiple streams of almost instantaneous information from afar. For example, recently I was at a social gathering where a young woman, glued to her phone, was continuously texting. At one point I interjected, “Is everything alright?” She looked up and shook her head. “No, I have a friend who was just in a car accident and the medics are transporting her to shock trauma. Her parents are on their way to the hospital — but no one thinks she’s going to make it.”

The accident occurred in another state, yet this young woman was experiencing the event minute by minute via her phone messaging.

There are numerous attractive features to thanatechnology. Information is persistent and endures. There is a sense of immortality and legacy when a person’s comments, photos and work is posted in cyberspace. It is visible to infinite numbers of individuals. It is spreadable, and with one repost or share, hundreds more are invited into our experience. It is searchable. Just yesterday someone emailed me after reading my article on pet loss and grief. She had been Googling information about pet loss and my article popped up. I was able to provide her with additional support resources.

While there are many helpful aspects of using technology for grief support, there are some serious causes for pause. Are the online interactions healthy? Who is actually participating in the network communities? Are youth oversharing personal information while in a vulnerable state? How pervasive are social divisions and are they perpetuated in the participating forums?

Clinicians, parents and educators must be digitally literate and provide opportunities for genuine face to face connection while acknowledging the cyberworld of teens. Using technology during this very vulnerable time can provide tremendous support and healing, but it may pose risks. Counselors have the responsibility to help youth develop the skills to navigate technology in a way that creates a safe environment for their grief experience and promotes bereavement support.

 

 

****

 

Cheryl Fisher

Cheryl Fisher is a licensed clinical professional counselor in private practice in Annapolis, Maryland. She is director and assistant professor for Alliant International University California School of Professional Psychology’s online MA in Clinical Counseling.  Her research interests include examining sexuality and spirituality in young women with advanced breast cancer; nature-informed therapy: and geek therapy. She may be contacted at cyfisherphd@gmail.com.

 

 

 

****

 

Opinions expressed and statements made in articles appearing on CT Online should not be assumed to represent the opinions of the editors or policies of the American Counseling Association.