Tag Archives: Career & Employment Counseling

Career & Employment Counseling

Working our way through a pandemic

By Laurie Meyers February 25, 2021

To appropriate a turn of phrase from Queen Elizabeth II, 2020 was our collective annus horribilis (horrible year). The queen was referring to 1992, a year that featured the implosion of three royal marriages, a devastatingly destructive fire at Windsor Castle, and unfortunate headlines involving Sarah Ferguson’s new beau and his, ahem, admiration of the Duchess of York’s feet.

But as the meme goes, 2020 said to 1992, “Hold my beer.”

The year that the queen “shall not look back upon with undiluted pleasure” included family losses, property destruction and embarrassing press. Stressful, to be sure, but ultimately personal and mundane (although, granted, most of us don’t have to face the paparazzi). But 2020 pelted us with events of a virtually seismic nature that have in one way or another affected billions of lives worldwide. The emergence of the novel coronavirus was not the only stressor or calamity the year visited upon us, but it remains arguably the most disruptive. And perhaps nowhere is that more apparent than in people’s work lives.

When the great shutdown began in the U.S. in March 2020, most of us thought we’d be confined to the house and working virtually for only a few months. But approximately one year later, and with more than 450,000 American deaths attributed to COVID-19 through the first week of February, many people are still hunched over their makeshift office equipment.

In the beginning, some of the work-from-home snafus were funny. Newscasters broadcasting with jackets — but no pants (which seems to be the preferred work-from-home style for a surprising number of people). The boss who accidentally turned herself into a potato on Microsoft Teams and didn’t know how to change back. Amusing, embarrassing and sometimes horrifying comments and conversations caught by accidentally unmuted microphones in video conferences. Other disruptions, such as cats on the keyboard and dogs chiming in during meetings, were a bit chaotic but too cute — at least at first — for their human companions to truly complain about. But other people struggled to carve out a workspace and found themselves joining meetings from underneath the stairs or barricaded behind the bathroom door because it was the only private space in a house full of busy (and noisy) family members. Even people who frequently telecommuted pre-pandemic often found adapting to an all-virtual workplace a challenge.

Balancing work, school and child care

One of the most significant challenges to working — whether virtually or on-site — during the COVID-19 era has been the lack of child care options and the need to assist children with their virtual schooling.

“Coaching folks on how to handle their work life without child care is a big focus of my practice these days,” says Katie Playfair, a licensed professional counselor (LPC) and management consultant located in Portland, Oregon.

“I tell clients to be as flexible and creative as they can in figuring out how to get their job done despite these obligations and to consider, when possible, cutting back hours to something more manageable,” she says. “As the mother of children who are 8, 6 and 2 years old, I home-school them during the day and then work from 5 p.m.-10 p.m. every evening after my spouse gets home. It’s a rough schedule.”

Playfair says many parents are having to take breaks to help with schoolwork during the day and then catching up on work themselves at night. Even children who are old enough not to need constant supervision often interrupt the workday to request a snack, to seek permission to take a break or to ask a quick homework question. As a result, parents are continually task-switching, unable to block out time for uninterrupted work, Playfair explains.

“Developing a system to communicate with older kids about when parents are interruptible and when they aren’t is vital,” she stresses. The use of physical or virtual calendars, door signs or predetermined “office hours” when they will be available to their children can help parents protect meeting times and allow for concentrated work during the day, she says.

“Providing kids with a way to table their questions until appropriate times is the other side of this equation,” Playfair continues. “They may need a whiteboard on parents’ doors or some other ways of tracking things so they don’t forget about them and get frustrated. Older kids can also be taught to email or text parents. Nonetheless, parents may still find themselves having to work nights or weekends to make up for the work that isn’t getting done during the school day.”

Even with families in which one spouse was already a stay-at-home parent before the pandemic, the virtual work and school mix can throw a wrench into the routine, says Keri Riggs, a Texas-based LPC whose specialties include relationship stressors, stress management and work-related issues. In one couple with whom Riggs worked, the mother was accustomed to structuring her day around the schedule of their middle school-age children. The family had managed to incorporate virtual school into their routine when, suddenly, the father began working remotely.

The only available workspace was the kitchen table, and the husband frequently needed everyone else to clear out of the room so he could participate in meetings. But he also recognized the need to give his wife a break — and the need to get away from the table himself — so they scheduled in lunches and other times when they would trade responsibility for the children. Because his meeting schedule varied, the couple sat down every night and plotted out the next day’s schedule, blocking off times when the kitchen needed to be in “do not disturb” mode and carving out time for breaks, says Riggs, a member of the American Counseling Association.

Fitting in the demands of work and school is even more difficult for single parents because, absent an available and willing relative or neighbor, there is no one to help shoulder their burden. Uninterrupted blocks of time may be available only when the children are asleep. However, some work-related tasks, such as meetings and phone calls, generally have to take place during the day. To help minimize disruptions, Jessi Eden Brown, an LPC whose specialties include trauma and workplace bullying, suggests parents buy or create “some kind of super-involved art project that they [children] only get to work on during meetings, so it’s kind of like a treat.”

“I don’t love this,” she continues, “but some clients have [also] had success with a television show or movie that can be started or stopped.” Brown, an ACA member, recognizes that isn’t an ideal solution, but it may be the only way that some clients can prevent interruptions in meetings. As she tells parents, with all the stressors they’re coping with, an extra hour or two of television here and there for their children is not the end of the world.

Of course, as Sharon Givens, an LPC who specializes in career development and mental health, points out, “Not everyone was able to just pick up a laptop and go home. If you’re a housekeeper, you can’t work from home.”

This is particularly problematic for single parents, she says. Some of her clients have family members who can assist with child care during the day, but others have had to relinquish their jobs. They are experiencing devastating financial difficulties that were exacerbated by the end of federally supplemented unemployment benefits.

“And, so, we’re working together to create some strategies to pay the rent,” says Givens, president-elect of the National Career Development Association, a division of ACA. Some clients have pulled money from their retirement accounts or tapped family members for financial assistance. Givens has also helped clients find local assistance programs and search for jobs that they can do from home.

The pandemic and resulting recession have demanded that counselors put on their “practical strategy hat” to help clients, Givens says. She has advised clients to speak with their mortgage company or landlord and their utility companies to see what type of deferment or other relief they can offer.

Setting boundaries and navigating distractions

The virtual office poses other challenges, such as the blurring of boundaries between work and home. By getting rid of the daily commute, office workers have gained extra time, but it has also deprived them of a natural boundary that signaled the beginning and end of the workday, Riggs says. The computer is always right there — a siren beckoning workers to check their email one last time or to do just a little more work. Suddenly, it’s midnight, and they’ve spent all day at the computer.

Riggs works with clients to replace the commute with other routines, asking what symbolizes starting and ending the workday for them. Is it taking a shower or changing out of their work clothes at the end of the day? She also suggests engaging in rituals such as hanging a “closed” sign on the computer or home office door or voicing a mantra such as “I did my best today.”

Sometimes, however, it isn’t employees who have trouble setting boundaries. American work culture is often brutal and not supportive of health and well-being, Playfair asserts.

“Unless an organization has set out to really change themselves into a more compassionate and empathetic place to work, they’re going to expect lots of hours, productivity and performance from everyone nearly all the time,” she says. “But even within this culture, there are opportunities for boundaries. First, I encourage people to ask their bosses, ‘Do you want the truth or what I think you want to hear?’ when an employee feels pressured past what they can take. Most people will choose the truth, and that will give the opportunity for healthy disclosure. I also like the phrase, ‘I wish I could do that for you, but I can’t because …’ to introduce a boundary.

“Finally, I think it’s helpful for employees to empathize with their bosses while still demanding support themselves. For example: ‘I understand that you’re short-staffed for this shift and that headquarters is expecting you to figure it out. That’s unfair. If our company would budget and plan sufficiently for contingency staffing, this wouldn’t be a problem for you or me, would it? I know they expect you to be fully staffed today, but they haven’t given you the resources to be successful with that, and I can’t personally make up for their poor planning.”

Brown encourages her clients to look for fellow employees who seem to be able to set boundaries. “Like ‘Bob’ — he always seems to sign off at 5. How does he do it?” she asks.

In other cases, Brown and the client may review their job description or the company’s policies and procedures manual to see if expectations for work hours have been set out.

Home itself can often be a distraction, Riggs notes. It can be difficult for people to focus exclusively on the work they are paid to do when they are surrounded by ever-present reminders of household tasks that also need to be completed, such as doing the laundry or loading the dishwasher. Cell phone pings announcing texts and social media notifications also beckon.

Riggs and her clients try out different solutions to find what works. This might involve setting a timer to complete 30-minute blocks of focused work, giving themselves a healthy reward for completing work, or setting up accountability partners. Riggs also suggests that, if possible, clients leave their cell phones in another room. If that isn’t feasible, she encourages clients to disable their notifications. She also counsels clients to prepare for the unexpected by allowing some margin for “white space” — a block of free, unscheduled time — during the day to attend to urgent requests or time-sensitive tasks.

The mental toll

Working under less than optimal conditions — or not working at all — has created significant challenges among a population that is already struggling with grief, Givens says. “All of us, if we’re being honest, are feeling a sense of loss: loss of activities, loss of career opportunities, loss of income.”

The uncertainty ushered in by the pandemic has challenged many clients’ coping skills, Givens says. She uses a variety of methods to help, including exploring what methods have supported clients’ ability to cope in the past. For some people, that involves more physical activity, whereas for others, it’s about increased (virtual) connection.

Givens also uses cognitive behavior therapy interventions such as having clients keep a thought record. They then look at this together and evaluate what is and what isn’t under the client’s control. “Many of them see the visual: ‘I spent four hours per day worrying about something that I couldn’t control,” she says.

Many of her clients are also engaging in frequent catastrophizing, obsessing about what will happen and whether they’re going to die in the pandemic. These concerns are natural, but some clients are mentally building worst-case scenarios, Givens notes. For these clients, she uses a different kind of thought record known as an evidence record. The concept is the same — clients write down their thoughts and then go over them with Givens — but what they’re looking for is any evidence to support the likelihood of their worst-case scenarios becoming reality.

All of the practitioners Counseling Today spoke to for this article urge clients to be patient with themselves as they navigate the myriad challenges of working during the COVID-19 era. Riggs recommends Kristin Neff’s five-minute self-compassion break (a guided version is available at self-compassion.org/guided-self-compassion-meditations-mp3-2/).

The practice begins by, as Neff puts it, “calling up a little suffering,” or reflecting on something that is currently causing stress or worry. Neff then provides a series of phrases “designed to help us remember the three components of self-compassion when we need it most.”

The first phrase is “This is a moment of suffering.” Or, as Riggs tells her clients, “I’m having a hard time today. I’m struggling.”

The second phrase is “Suffering is a part of life.” Riggs describes this as recognizing one’s connection to all of humanity: Not only am I struggling, other people struggle too. I am not alone.

The third phrase is “May I be kind to myself in this moment.” To support being kind to oneself, Neff suggests that listeners place their hand over their heart or another place on their body that feels soothing, then focus on the warmth of their hand and let that sensation stream through their fingers. She then recommends that listeners direct kind and supportive language toward themselves, such as words they might use with a friend going through a similar situation — e.g., “I’m here for you. It’s going to be OK.”

At the end of the practice or “break,” Neff asks listeners to notice how their bodies feel and to allow themselves to just “be” in the moment with those sensations.      

Riggs also suggests clients ask themselves what would make them feel better at that moment. “That’s really the hardest piece if you don’t know what you need,” she says. “Do I need to move my body? Do I need to journal? Call my best friend? Put on music? Give myself a hug?”

Finally, Riggs tells clients to remind themselves that the stress or anxiety they are currently experiencing will not last forever — that they won’t feel like this forever. Eventually, it will change.

Amid the suffering caused by the pandemic, Brown sees opportunities for personal growth. “Never before have we had … [such a] profound opportunity to slow down and focus on life’s priorities with such intention,” she says. “COVID-19 has affected nearly every person on the planet. Countless people live in fear, and many have lost family, friends, livelihoods and so much more.

“The tragedy is undeniable. That said, I have always believed that low moments like these potentially set the stage for meaningful change as we reflect on what is important and how our decisions either support or impede our progress.”

 

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The pandemic and a frayed political climate have also been at the center of various instances of workplace bullying. Read more in our online exclusive article, “No rest for the bullied.”

 

 

 

 

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Laurie Meyers is a senior writer for Counseling Today. Contact her at lmeyers@counseling.org.

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Opinions expressed and statements made in articles appearing on CT Online should not be assumed to represent the opinions of the editors or policies of the American Counseling Association.

No rest for the bullied

By Laurie Meyers February 1, 2021

The climate of intolerance, anger and, to put it plainly, hate, that was encouraged to bloom during the past four years have kept Jessi Eden Brown busy as the professional coach for the Workplace Bullying Institute (WBI) and in her private psychotherapy practice in Seattle. According to the WBI, targets of workplace bullying consistently reported more frequent and more brazen attacks, crippling sabotage, and mobbing based on known or assumed opposition to the Trump administration. Brown has seen this trend playout in her private practice and in her coaching work at the WBI. In the weeks surrounding the insurgent attack at the U.S. Capitol, two of Brown’s clients reported that workplace harassment had escalated to personal property damage.

“One had, ‘Trump 2020,’ scratched into the hood of his car in the employee parking garage,” says Brown, a licensed professional counselor. “And the other told me his locker was broken into [and] the contents [were] soaked in red paint, one day after the U.S. Capitol riot.”

The division between mask-wearers and anti-maskers during the pandemic has also created a pernicious type of bullying, Brown says. “For example, one client told me that three workplace bullies have ‘fake coughed’ in her direction for months, often followed by snickering and occasional obscene gestures. She said she considered reporting the problem to HR or management, but her last grievance resulted in retaliation, so she has opted to try to ignore it and keep wearing a mask.”

The pandemic has also contributed to an uptick in bullying in other ways, Brown says. “At the beginning of the pandemic, many of my clients reported an overwhelming sense of relief as they transitioned to remote work [and were] no longer required to face their bullies in person,” she explains. “Bullying tactics such as micromanaging, nonverbal intimidation and public humiliation were dampened by distance. However, for some clients, that period of calm was short-lived, as bullies began to weaponize the very technology we rely on to work from home. Clients told me their invitations to essential Zoom meetings were ‘somehow overlooked.’ They talked about the relative ease with which bullies manipulate reports and documents, craftily overinflating their contributions and minimizing the target’s value.”

Brown’s clients have also reported feelings of mounting isolation as they face increasing levels of resource gatekeeping.

The economic collapse brought on by the pandemic is also being wielded as a weapon, according to Brown. One client’s boss regularly makes threats such as “This is not the time to be jobless, so you really don’t want to screw up next week’s presentation.”

Brown says that, understandably, most of her bullied clients fear leaving their jobs during the pandemic, despite the abuse they are subjected to.

“Sometimes there are ways to push back and advocate for yourself; other times that may only make things worse,” she says, noting that the outcome is highly situationally dependent. “I work with my clients to explore their options and refocus whenever possible on addressing their health. Setting boundaries, boosting self-care and seeking outlets for processing pain and frustration — all might help the client survive in the job until the outlook is more positive.”

“A couple of my clients have reached their absolute limits in dealing with workplace aggressors and have opted to resign, transfer or prematurely retire despite the extraordinary uncertainty of a global pandemic,” Brown continues. “One client is taking advantage of the opportunity to return to school and recast her career in a different direction. The other is taking a bit of time off, living on savings and repairing his health — knowing he has a financial cushion of exactly six months. As that deadline draws near, we will plan out the next steps and, ideally, he will reenter the workforce feeling a bit recharged and focused on creating a fresh start.”

These are difficult situations to face in counseling, Brown acknowledges, and she sometimes becomes concerned for the safety of her clients. “First, I listen to their account of the incident, allowing the client to process the fear, anger, confusion and vulnerability that comes with being persecuted,” she says. “From there, we talk about any steps — minor as they may be — to help the client feel safer.”

For example, because his house keys and wallet were in the locker when someone broke into it, Brown’s client decided to change all of his locks at home and add two more security cameras to his home system.

In cases that involve bullying that is potentially criminal, Brown and her clients discuss whether to file a police report or take any other formal action, weighing the costs and benefits of these decisions.

“I also research and pass along any specific resources that might offer additional support for my client, such as hate crime victim support groups, PTSD [posttraumatic stress disorder] groups … Unfortunately,” she says, “as things continue to deteriorate in our society, it is challenging to help these individuals fully regain a sense of safety, which is something we often recognize and address openly.”

“I have witnessed the combined effects of a divisive Trump administration, a deadly global pandemic and an intense racial reckoning precipitate enduring traumatic injuries on some of my clients. Often,” Brown concludes, “I think the repair and healing work we do in therapy is only just beginning, and even more challenging times lie ahead.”

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COVID-19 has largely redefined where people work, how people work and the workplace challenges that confront employees as they try to make ends meet. Read more in the article “Working our way through the pandemic,” in the March 2021 issue of Counseling Today.

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Laurie Meyers is a senior writer for Counseling Today. Contact her at lmeyers@counseling.org.

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Opinions expressed and statements made in articles appearing on CT Online should not be assumed to represent the opinions of the editors or policies of the American Counseling Association.

Starting post-college life in a pandemic

By Bethany Bray August 3, 2020

Spring 2020 college graduates have emerged into a world turned upside down by COVID-19. The job prospects and post-college lifestyles these graduates were imagining for themselves just a few months ago are today largely nonexistent.

Unprecedented seems to be the buzzword of the season, notes Roseanne Bensley, assistant director of New Mexico State University’s (NMSU’s) Center for Academic Advising and Student Support. The coronavirus pandemic has affected everything from relationships to career planning for new graduates.

“It’s not one part of their life, it’s every part of their life,” Bensley says. “Employers have uncertainty and don’t know, day to day, when things will lift. … No one has enough information to give answers. This is new territory for employers and job searchers.”

However, Bensley would like to add a second buzzword to the class of 2020’s lexicon: resiliency. As she points out, these students, many of whom had to unexpectedly finish their senior year coursework online, can claim an advantage when it comes to adaptability and comfort with technology.

Because of COVID-19, “New jobs and new ways of doing business are opening up. This is going to cause a new wave of change, and [employers] may not be going back to the way it was,” Bensley says. “These students are ahead of the curve. … They will be resilient with what they’ve learned.”

At a loss

Licensed professional counselor (LPC) Patricia Anderson recently worked with a new college grad who was experiencing a resurgence of anxiety this past spring during the pandemic. The young woman had switched jobs, and the restrictions associated with COVID-19 meant that she was unable to meet any of her new co-workers in person. Her entire hiring and onboarding process had been completed via video and electronic communication. She had also recently moved into her own apartment and begun living away from her family for the first time.

The client was stressed out, anxious, and struggling with her self-confidence, recalls Anderson, an American Counseling Association member who has a private practice in the Georgetown section of Washington D.C. In working through her feelings in counseling, it became clear that the young woman — an extrovert by nature — was experiencing grief over the large-scale absence of social connection, both at work and in her personal life.

During the pandemic, the client had stopped using an online dating platform. This resulted in her experiencing a sense of loss regarding opportunities to meet people and a decrease in the confidence she normally gained through interacting with dates and new relationships. Anderson worked with the client to establish a self-care plan that included making time for hobbies and exercise, as well as maintaining social contacts and reconnecting with friends with whom she had lost touch.

Anderson also focused on boosting the client’s confidence and equipped her with strategies for keeping her self-talk from becoming self-critical. In addition, Anderson helped the client recognize that what she was feeling was grief, which can arrive in waves. Together, they connected some of the client’s feelings to family-of-origin issues that were contributing to her stress.

Anderson also helped the client focus on the reality that her current situation wouldn’t last forever. “We talked about things she can look forward to in the future: going back to online dating, figuring out a new normal, looking forward to meeting colleagues face-to-face, planning a trip, and working on another business opportunity,” Anderson says. “Time spent away [from dating] had eroded the confidence she once had and had kicked up her anxiety. Staying ‘in the game’ can be beneficial for some [clients]. It’s a way to get to know themselves and push themselves socially.”

Many of Anderson’s clients are young professionals, current college students or recent graduates. Throughout the spring and summer, many of these clients have been wrestling with feelings of loss, she says. This includes the loss of rites of passage such as graduation ceremonies and in-person celebrations, the loss of internships and immediate job prospects and, for some, the seeming loss of entire career plans.

“Their world and their [sense of] structure have been upended, and they’re not really knowing which direction to move in,” Anderson says. “Some days, they feel like, ‘OK, I got this,’ and then other days, they have doubts about ‘Where am I going?’ The floor dropped out of what they thought was going to happen. … They have anxiety over the fact that everything got pulled out from underneath them, and now they don’t have a road map.”

It is vitally important that counselors first help these clients process their feelings of loss before trying to guide them to reconsider their job options or life path, Anderson says. Among the most consequential actions counselors can take are to listen to, validate and normalize the emotions that these young adults are feeling in the wake of COVID-19.

“Be with the client where they are,” Anderson says. “If they’re unable to go with a job that didn’t happen or was rescinded, really sit with them in that space before opening up and looking at the possibilities of ‘what else?’ It’s difficult to do that until they know that you understand them and where they’re coming from.”

All feelings of loss should be treated as real and valid, Anderson says, even if clients themselves express guilt over feeling that way or dismiss those feelings as being trivial when the world is facing weightier issues. For example, some graduates may still be dealing with disappointment that they missed out on a final chance to take a spring break trip with friends or weren’t able to study abroad because of the coronavirus. Counselors should reassure these clients that it is OK to have these feelings and then give them space to talk about it, she emphasizes.

“[Help them] know that they’re not alone and that it totally makes sense to struggle right now. They also may be scared at feeling unsettled, which may be a new feeling for them,” explains Anderson, who does contract work for the QuarterLife Center, a Washington, D.C., therapy office that specializes in working with young professionals in their 20s and 30s.

In addition to normalizing feelings, Anderson has been providing clients with psychoeducation on self-care, the nonlinear aspects of grief, and the importance of maintaining social supports and a structured daily schedule. She checks with clients to ensure they are staying connected with friends and family via technology and that they are equipped with coping mechanisms such as meditation and self-reflection exercises. She also asks if they are eating well, engaging in physical activity, getting outside, and taking part in other wellness-focused activities.

As Anderson’s clients talk in sessions, she listens for hopeful language that might indicate they are ready to rethink their futures. “I try to help them broaden their scope a little, if they’re ready for it. I let them talk about what they need to talk about, but then spend some time looking at other pieces of what else might be possible. [I] try and get them out of their heads just a little bit,” Anderson says, “because if I [as a client] always thought I was going to be a dentist, and come to find out that I’m not going to be a dentist, I have to grieve. But at the same time, maybe there are some things that free me up about not being a dentist.”

“If you can create a trusting relationship with a [client],” she says, “they know that you understand them, and we can explore all kinds of things, whether they [previously] seemed unrealistic or not.”

Rethinking career plans

Flexibility must be the watchword for recent graduates who are looking for jobs, says Lynn Downie, associate director of career and professional development at Presbyterian College in South Carolina. In her work with undergraduates and alumni of the small, rural college, Downie is finding that those who had a “hard and set, defined path” in mind, such as entering the health care or hospitality industries straight out of school, are struggling most.

Those who are currently seeking jobs can benefit greatly from the guidance and encouragement provided by a counselor, says Downie, who recently finished a two-year term as president of the National Employment Counseling Association (NECA), a division of ACA. “Give them reassurance that things haven’t changed completely. Highlight [the idea] that pathways to a particular goal aren’t always the same. There are other distinct pathways,” she says.

Downie is helping her clients identify workarounds as they adjust their perspectives to become more flexible and less discouraged by rejection letters or the idea of taking a job that might not have appealed to them previously. Some of her clients have readjusted their career plans to take entry-level or short-term work in positions or fields they wouldn’t have considered six months ago. Others have pivoted to opportunities in national service programs such as AmeriCorps.

Downie, a member of ACA, also reminds recent graduates that they just need to find a fit for right now. That doesn’t mean their long-term career goals have to change. “Help [these clients] realize that they’re not making a choice for the rest of their lives when they choose a job, or [especially] their first job,” she says. “Their life is going to be full of all kinds of pivots. Some are planned and some are unplanned and forced. There is a big arc from 18 to 65 or retirement age. … You can [still] have aspirational goals that are for down the line.”

Downie has worked with several business students who had hoped to go into health care administration, but because the industry is so in flux currently, there aren’t many administration jobs open at the entry level. With these students and graduates, Downie has focused on ways that their administration skills could be used in alternative settings, such as nonprofit, community development or public health organizations. Another tactic is taking lower-paid medical aide or assistant jobs in settings that are currently short-staffed (such as nursing homes) and that do not necessarily require special certification. As Downie points out, even working as a contact tracer as part of the COVID-19 virus response — a job that didn’t exist six months ago — could help these new graduates gain experience.

Similarly, a job in pharmaceutical or medical sales could provide these graduates with valuable exposure. “They would still be interacting with those in the medical field, instead of applying for jobs that don’t exist,” she points out.

Bensley notes that going with a “Plan B” job in a field or setting that a graduate didn’t originally intend to work in can demonstrate to other potential employers that the graduate possesses a good work ethic and thinks outside the box. She also urges students and recent graduates to widen their searches to consider temporary, freelance or even gig work instead of focusing solely on full-time employment.

“[A first job] may not be professional, but it’s work, and [the individual] can be introduced to people through that work,” Bensley says. “It also tells a [future] employer that you’re a hustler and not waiting for the golden egg to show up.”

When counseling clients who are rethinking their career plans, Downie finds it helpful to have them identify a theme they feel drawn to and then consider various types of work that fit that theme. For example, a graduate who enjoys building relationships can use that skill in any number of job settings. They might start out in sales but advance to building teams as a manager or even pivot to cultivating client relationships as a professional counselor.

“Find a theme for your life — that one thing you cling to, what you’re good at,” Downie tells her clients. “You can work on that in all types of settings. A core skill can translate into different fields, and sticking with it will give you a sense of continuity and purpose.”

Networking during a pandemic

Bensley often tells students at NMSU to think of how professional athletes are handling the pandemic: Their season may be on hold or even canceled, but they’re continuing to stay in shape.

“Just because the competitive side of their sport has stopped, they’re not watching Netflix for 10 hours a day. They are still keeping their skill set up, working out, training and preparing,” Bensley observes.

That same philosophy should apply to career planning during the pandemic, she emphasizes. Now is the time for job candidates to put even more energy into enriching themselves and expanding their professional networks.

“Don’t limit your strategy to just sending out résumés and waiting for a response,” urges Bensley, an instructor for the global career development facilitator credential through NECA. “While employers may have slowed down their original hiring plans, it does not mean that a candidate should also slow down. If anything, it means you might need to work harder at following employers on LinkedIn, reviewing their homepages and [thoroughly] reading job postings to determine if you have the skill set that employers require.”

Bensley suggests it is also the perfect time for recent graduates to flip the usual dynamic and reach out to interview professionals who are already working in their desired field. Job seekers can identify contacts through LinkedIn or other networks and ask if these professionals have 20 minutes to talk about their job or industry.

Bensley urges students and recent graduates to start with professors and mentors whom they already know or have worked with. They can then use those connections to secure introductions to other professionals in their desired field. Those professionals can recommend still others they would recommend connecting with, and so on, in a widening circle, Bensley says.

Professionals are especially open to such requests right now because many are working from home and are free from in-person meetings, conferences and business travel engagements. In many ways, motivated students and recent graduates currently have a “captive audience,” she says.

“This shows curiosity and a desire to learn about your craft, gets your name out there, and helps you evolve and have insights on what they [professionals] consider to be important,” Bensley says. “If an employer said, ‘We really value teamwork,’ there’s a hint: Everything [you might say in a job interview] should be focused on teamwork. Instead of saying, ‘I did X,” say, ‘We did X.’ That can be the small percentage you need to get ahead — understanding the value system of the employer because you’ve talked to them about it.”

Forward vision

As counselors offer support and reassurance to recent graduates and young professionals struggling to adjust to personal and professional lives upended by COVID-19, here are some important points to keep in mind:

>>  Focus on listening. Downie urges counselors to slowly ease in to therapeutic or career work with these clients. She often opens her sessions with a question: “What do you want to talk about today?” With so many concerns currently weighing on these clients, their answers might be unexpected and diverge entirely from the topics they have discussed in session previously, she says.

“Give them the floor to talk about whatever they want. We [counselors] always have to be good listeners, but now as we’re isolated, there’s a real temptation to give advice,” Downie says. “What is needed now, during this crisis, is to listen — listen more and not give advice. That’s been essential. Students who were slow to open up to begin with now need additional time to be comfortable. We need to build [therapeutic] relationships but also step back and allow for quiet. Right now, there’s so much chatter, [clients] need time to catch their breath before speaking.”

>> Consider the whole picture. College students and recent graduates may unexpectedly find themselves living at home and navigating family stressors, Downie notes. Regardless of the presenting issue that brings these clients to counseling, counselors should ask questions that will help them understand clients’ situations in full. Downie says she has worked with students who have needed to finish college coursework while sharing a computer with family members or to conduct their entire job search on a cellphone. Others found themselves scrambling to secure temporary work — long before they expected to start a career — to supplement household income because their parents had been laid off.

“When students went home and courses went online, family structures were being upended,” Downie says. “It took an emotional toll. … The level of stress has been enormous, even from day one” of the pandemic.

Some students and recent graduates have expressed feeling pressure from parents about their job searches or life choices (even if parents haven’t necessarily voiced those concerns) that they wouldn’t have felt living on campus. Counselors should be mindful that living at home adds an entirely new dynamic to these clients’ experiences, Downie says.

Administrators at Presbyterian College, including Downie, split up the student body roster and called every student to check in through the spring semester. This endeavor confirmed a saying that Downie had been hearing from colleagues: “We’re all in the same storm but not in the same boat.” The needs and stressors that students were experiencing varied widely, depending on their circumstances, she says.

“Really quickly, I realized the truth of that saying. For some, doors opened that weren’t there before. There were some who found themselves with new opportunities, yet their best friends were experiencing a very different [reality],” she explains.

>> Make clients the authors of a story in progress: Tina Leboffe, an ACA member and a counselor pursuing licensure under supervision at a therapy practice in Douglassville, Pennsylvania, uses narrative therapy with clients, many of whom are college students concerned about finding a job after graduation. “I see my clients as the meaning-makers in their own lives. When working with loss [related to the COVID-19 pandemic], I feel that it is important to walk with the client as they tell the story of their experience, while supporting their exploration of what they want this loss to mean for their life story. This can look like allowing space for the client to be present in feeling the emotions caused by loss and also to look forward at what they want their lives to look like as a result of the loss,” says Leboffe, an associate addiction counselor.

“When working with a client to refocus and reimagine their future, we can listen as they add context to their story,” she says. “Despite the setting of their story shifting, the client is still the author. We can support our clients as they integrate a new reality into their life story by asking questions that refocus on the client being the expert of their life. As counselors, we might not be able to change the job market, but we can guide our clients in an exploration of what they want their life to look like given the changes that have occurred. We can assist them in identifying decisions they want to make in the face of change.”

>> Seize the opportunity to explore identity: Leboffe and Anderson both note that while this is a time of stress and upheaval for young clients, it can also afford opportunities for personal growth. Counselors can help support and encourage that process.

“This is a good time for them to learn about themselves, learn about what their values are and what is important to them. … [It is] a time to explore their internal world and let them find out what their 22-year-old self is like,” Anderson says. “How are they with stress? How do they handle ambiguity? How are they capable and able to move forward and readjust in such a difficult time? Giving them space to talk allows them to process [these things].”

“In my experience working with young adults and recent grads — and being one myself not long ago — I have found that this time in their lives can be filled with identity exploration and transition,” Leboffe says. “They may be faced with new levels of independence and responsibility that can evoke questions like ‘What do I want my life to look like?’ or ‘Who do I want to be?’ This can be important to keep in mind as we work with or parent recent grads because it can serve as underlying context to help us be empathetic to their lived experiences while they are developing their sense
of identity.”

>> Remember that productivity is relative. Anderson has found it helpful to remind young clients that even though they’re spending much more time at home, they may need to temper their expectations about productivity.

“This shouldn’t be a time when you plan to be super productive. That’s hard to do when you’re going through something so emotional and so taxing,” Anderson tells clients. “It’s not a time to learn six new languages, clean your entire house or finish a major art project. Instead, focus on what works for you. What are things that calm you and help you [that] you can do routinely? Be less hard on yourself. At the same time, it’s a great time to try something new if you have the motivation to.”

>> Build confidence. Bensley urges counselors to focus on the positive when communicating with college students and recent graduates during the pandemic. “The No. 1 thing we can do for clients is help build their confidence,” Bensley says. “The tone of my emails has been, ‘Hey, you’ve got this. I’m cheering you on.’ I’m trying to use my language to be that [needed] encouragement, even if they don’t ask for it or seem to need it.”

>> Take them seriously. Transitioning to adulthood is hard enough without the added concerns and stresses of COVID-19. Validation from a counselor is pivotal during this time of life, Anderson says.

“Take their concerns seriously. We know in general that people will land on their feet and things will turn out OK as they make their way in the world. [But] they need to be held in the emotional space where they are right now,” Anderson says. “Moving into adulthood is really hard. It can be a very tumultuous time — and one that promotes growth.”

“[These clients’] struggles and needs are serious,” she continues. “Figuring out dating, jobs and social stuff — it’s all important. Stay with them in their space and create that [trusting] relationship. Know that their concerns are valid, even if we have all the confidence in them in the world that they’re going to figure this out. They really are worried that they’re not going to figure this out in the right way. And that’s valid [because] they haven’t been here before.”

 

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Entering the counseling profession amid COVID-19

Graduates from counseling programs certainly aren’t immune to the stresses and uncertainties that 2020 graduates in other fields are facing.

Darius Green graduated from James Madison University (JMU) with a doctorate in counselor education in May. Green says that he and many other counseling graduates feel the pressure of finding jobs that can provide financial stability “rather than being able to choose what positions best fit [our] personal and professional goals.”

I do not come from a background of financial privilege, so this rose to the top of my priorities,” says Green, a member of the American College Counseling Association, a division of ACA. “I [have] noticed a mix of success and difficulty among some of my peers in the job search process. For those who started early and found a position that matched what they were looking for, the process seemed easy. For my peers who had not been able to start searching early or just had not found the ideal position, there seemed to be more difficulty. … I struggled with finding a position that I wanted and carried out my job search longer than I had planned.”

This summer, Green is living in Harrisonburg, Virginia, where JMU is located, holding down both a full-time instructional faculty position with JMU’s Learning Centers Department and working part time as a counselor with the ARROW Project, a community mental health organization roughly 30 miles away in Staunton.

Green hopes that in this time of crisis, professional counselors who are already established will remember the role they play as advocates for the profession and will look out for new counseling graduates trying to enter the field.

“I think that counselors who are already working can be aware and sensitive to how stressful being in such a position [graduating during a pandemic] can be. I also feel as if counselors can advocate within their agencies or communities to do our part in making sure that existing opportunities are made known to recent graduates,” Green says. “That could include reaching out to counseling faculty members to share information or even connecting with colleagues who may know of new counseling graduates in need.”

“One thing that I would want [counselors] to keep in mind is that not everyone has connections to others in the counseling profession and other mental health fields,” he continues. “Some students come from backgrounds that may have lacked opportunities for networking or that may not value the mental health professions. I think it would be important to pay particularly close attention to those students so that they do not fall through the cracks or face another layer of oppression.”

 

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Bethany Bray is a senior writer and social media coordinator for Counseling Today. Contact her at bbray@counseling.org.

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Opinions expressed and statements made in articles appearing on CT Online should not be assumed to represent the opinions of the editors or policies of the American Counseling Association.

Should I stay or should I go now?

By Bethany Bray February 26, 2020

When work stress becomes overwhelming, a knee-jerk reaction may be to dust off your resume and search for a new job. You may even fantasize about walking out and throwing in the towel to rid yourself of a micromanaging boss, an abrasive co-worker or an unrealistic workload.

But will leaving a stressful work situation solve the problem?

Not always. Professional counselors say that leaving a job without considering the full picture of what is stressing you out – both at work and in your personal life – may not eliminate all of your discomfort.

Stress can quickly resurface if a person switches jobs to a position that isn’t a good fit for them or doesn’t address underlying issues that are affecting their mental health, such as unprocessed grief or past trauma, says Sharon Givens, a licensed professional counselor (LPC) who specializes in career development and mental health.

“We need to make sure we understand the root of a client’s stress. Look at the long term and not just the transition of leaving a toxic situation,” says Givens, whose private practice has offices in Columbia, South Carolina, and Charlotte, North Carolina. “They need to transition to somewhere they can sustain and not just make a move.”

A counselor’s role should never be to suggest that a client leave or stay at a particular job. However, a counselor can be a guide and support as a client steps back to assess what is out of balance in their life and creates goals to move toward the life they want to live, says Givens, president-elect-elect of the National Career Development Association, a division of the American Counseling Association.

“We can evaluate what this job means for this person [the client] and evaluate what this job is to this person,” agrees Quentin Hunter, a licensed professional counselor associate who counsels clients in a rural area of Kentucky. “What is the job like, and what does it demand? Is their stress unusual, constant or changing – and can they make changes?”

Hunter acknowledges that some clients may not have the option to leave a position if job options are scarce in their area, especially if their financial situation wouldn’t be able to sustain the transition until paychecks begin to come from a new employer. Counselors can help these clients make healthier choices about staying, Hunter says. “They can stay because they have reasons and not just stay without intention.”

For some clients who come to counseling for help dealing with work-related stress, “work may simply be non-negotiable,” adds A. Renée Staton, an LPC and professor in the counseling program at James Madison University in Harrisonburg, Virginia. “There may be no way out because it’s the only opportunity, the only game in town. It’s important to acknowledge that it’s a reality for many of our clients.”

Counselors can give clients “the space to acknowledge that this [work situation] is difficult … and normalize that [stressful] feelings come and go, and we deserve our own self-care and respect as we encounter these challenges,” Staton says.

In sessions with clients, Givens relies on an array of counseling tools to help clients identify the ways their job is affecting them and to arrive at the best decision for them based on facts rather than emotion.

“We take a step back and look at the variables of what they can change and can’t change. After mapping it out, I will ask, ‘What do you think is the best for you?’” she says. “I put the question back on them so they can ultimately make the decision. It needs to be based on symptoms and facts versus ‘I feel like.’ [We look at] what is actually happening, what are the symptoms and, then, what are your options?”

 

Finding solutions

Jennifer Linnekaste, an LPC who specializes in career counseling and helping clients with work-related trauma at her practice in Oslo, Norway, recalls one client who worked in an engineering firm and came to her because he felt he was stagnant in the position he had held for 15 years. “Tom” (not his real name) felt like he had no energy. He had come to dread the thought of being assigned new projects at work and “a never-ending string of meetings that felt pointless in nature to him,” says Linnekaste, an adjunct professor (teaching online) for Regent University in Virginia Beach and Old Dominion University in Norfolk, Virginia.

Conversations in counseling sessions revealed that Tom went into engineering as a career because he was drawn to the field’s focus on design and creativity. However, his job role had evolved away from the more creative, collaborative aspects that he enjoyed when he first began working for the firm. Roughly five years prior, new management had taken over and introduced new technology that allowed employees to work online and connect remotely.

“At first, Tom said he was checking email occasionally in the evening after [his] kids were settled or in bed. Then, the expectations began to increase,” Linnekaste recalls. “There was far more documentation, and he was moved into a task that involved more quality control – checking to make sure the people under him had done their jobs. He said he hated that. Soon, he found himself in middle management and was responsible for making sure others were meeting their deadlines. As someone who self-professed to be a perfectionist, Tom felt anxious about whether his team members would deliver. It began to consume him, worrying about whether the project would get done because he was the one who was responsible. His supervisor was a positive yet hands-off type of leader. As a result, Tom didn’t feel that he had the tools to manage things well. He also struggled with trying to communicate with those below and above him.”

After one particularly stressful meeting with his supervisor, Tom reported feeling completely overwhelmed and inept in his job. After the meeting, he told Linnekaste, he had “just wanted to walk out the door and never work there again. When I asked how he has persevered to this point, he said sheer willpower and a fear of not having a job. It was clear to me that he was surviving rather than thriving.”

“He came to me because he was wondering whether he should just leave and start somewhere new, but he had several concerns: 1) He actually liked the company and the people he worked with for the most part; 2) He was paid well; 3) He was unsure whether the ‘grass was greener on the other side’; and 4) He was uncertain whether he would be happy if he made a change,” Linnekaste says. “In order to help him make a decision, I felt he needed to have a good conceptualization of the problem and more information to move forward. We agreed on one thing: keeping the status quo was not sustainable [for] his mental health.”

From there, Linnekaste dove into a full assessment with Tom in counseling sessions, asking about his personal and family life, values and role models. The more they talked, the more it became clear that Tom was unhappy because he had lost the ability to be creative – one of his most valued attributes – at work.

Using this as a guide, Linnekaste helped Tom come up with a plan to seek creative work. The first step was to approach his supervisor and explain that his talents were best suited for creative work, not managing others. He planned to ask if there were different roles or tasks he could transition to within the company that would allow for creativity and design work. If his company wouldn’t allow him to change his role, then Tom would begin to search and apply for new jobs that offered creativity.

When Tom returned to counseling after approaching his supervisor, Linnekaste remembers that he smiled as he talked about how well the conversation had gone. His supervisor had been understanding and mentioned a new contract that was coming in that involved designing a new product.

“Tom told his supervisor that he was struggling with the management piece but didn’t want to be demoted. So, the supervisor stated that he was going to enroll him in a management course, as well as assign him a deputy manager that would handle the tasks related to quality assurance and benchmarks. Tom appeared energized and excited,” Linnekaste recalls. “He said, ‘You know, I had forgotten how much cooking was a passion for me. This past week, feeling better about the job front, I enrolled in a cooking class. I also told my wife I would like to have friends over once a month for dinner. We could have themed dinners where I try out different main dishes and they can provide the side dishes.’ When I asked about emails after work, etc., he said that they [didn’t] feel as overwhelming now to answer. He said he [was] going to put a hard boundary on not doing work on weekends, but he [felt] energized about being able to take on his new project.”

 

 

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Related reading

For more on helping clients with work stress, see Counseling Today’s March cover article “Help wanted: Managing work stress.”

 

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Bethany Bray is a senior writer for Counseling Today. Contact her at bbray@counseling.org

 

Follow Counseling Today on Twitter @ACA_CTonline and on Facebook at facebook.com/CounselingToday.

 

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Opinions expressed and statements made in articles appearing on CT Online should not be assumed to represent the opinions of the editors or policies of the American Counseling Association.

Generational divisions in the workplace: Where counselors come in

By Bethany Bray October 29, 2018

More than 1 in 3 American workers are part of the millennial generation, according to the Pew Research Center. This growing contingent of young professionals works alongside supervisors and co-workers who came of age when workplace dynamics were very different. These differences encompass everything from demographics to overall level of reliance on technology.

If left unaddressed, these dynamics can be a recipe for conflict and division, assert Carolyn Greer and Kimberly Key, who have co-presented on the topic of bridging the divisions in the modern workplace at ACA’s annual conference.

“The baton is not passing very well,” says Key, a licensed marriage and family therapist with a private practice in Austin, Texas. “It’s so systemic and vast and complex, with multiple factors that influence this [issue]. … There’s not just one factor.”

Millennials are “digital natives,” accustomed to internet connectivity and the flexibility afforded by the ability to video chat and send email at any time and to anywhere. The need for a 9-to-5 workday in which someone is physically in the office and at a desk can often seem needless or archaic to these younger professionals. Their older co-workers – baby boomers and members of Generation X – however, grew up in a world where the term “work-life balance” was nonexistent and many people stuck with one company or one career for their entire adult life.

“Not only was working from home not feasible a generation ago, it wouldn’t have been allowed. Expectations were very, very different,” says Greer, a retired licensed professional counselor, a longtime member of the American Counseling Association and a past president of the Texas Counseling Association. “That older worker, they set aside family and said, ‘It’s all about work.’ While millennials say, ‘It’s all about family, and work comes second.’ They opt to work from home and take personal time more often. There may be resentment from older co-workers, [who feel] ‘somebody has to hold down the fort!’ There are differences in expectations: What does it mean to go to work?”

Technology aside, modern workplaces look very different than they did a generation ago, in everything from dress code to the benchmarks used for promotion and advancement, notes Greer. At the same time, more and more women are attending college and joining the workforce, and the role of stay-at-home dad is not as unheard of as in decades past.

The Pew Research Center reports that the U.S. labor force is currently a varied mix of generations that even includes a small percentage of post-millennials, or those born after 1996. Baby boomers are slowly retiring, but a healthy share of the American workforce (25 percent in 2017) is still composed of those born during the post-World War II years (1946 to 1964). Roughly one-third of the labor force hails from Generation X, or those born after the baby boom but before the 1980s. Millennials, or those born between 1981 and 1997, have surpassed both generations in recent years to make up the largest percentage of American workers, according to Pew.

The divisions that can arise when generations with different expectations are working side by side is an issue that needs more attention and further discussion within the counseling profession, Key and Greer assert. The duo met through the National Employment Counseling Association, an ACA division in which they are both active. Key also offers training and consulting work on bridging family and work issues.

Key and Greer encourage counselor practitioners to seek professional development in this area, consult with colleagues and get involved in professional counseling organizations such as ACA and NECA. “This is a call to action: Take it to your local professionals, bring it up, talk about it, do research,” Key says.

 

Counselors as bridge builders

Counselors of all specialties – not just career counselors – should be aware of and sensitive to the generational divisions that can arise in today’s workplaces, say Key and Greer. Practitioners may see clients who present with anxiety and other issues related to generational breakdowns such as feeling overlooked, alienated or misunderstood.

There is potential for resentment to form when younger generations don’t follow “the old-school method of working hard and waiting to earn your promotion” that older workers may expect, Key explains. However, career planning and goal setting for younger generations is unlikely to follow the steady, stable and gradual trajectory toward retirement that older generations came to expect. Instead, they may change jobs and careers several times to fit their family and life choices.

“We’re not a one-career society anymore. Making room for other things is OK,” Key says. “It’s essential for counselors to know about these aspects to identify and treat the issue. … Meet [clients] where they are. Understand what is happening. Be open and tell them that this is a very far-reaching thing, a pervasive issue that can affect people both at work and at home. It’s a very real issue, and we have to work with them to find what our clients need.”

“This is all so complex and vast that people may not even realize they’re affected by it. Let them know that they’re not alone and that many people are going through this,” Key adds. “Address it, and recognize that we [counselors] have the tools to be peacemakers.”

Greer, an adjunct professor at Texas A&M University-Central Texas, says she talks about workplace issues in her introduction to family counseling classes. Just as there’s no one definition of “family” anymore, she tells her students, there’s also no one definition of “work.”

“There’s no more going to work and punching a clock for 40 hours. Now, maybe you work from home or do Skype meetings late at night with other time zones. The world has become so different,” Greer says. “We’re in this whole uncharted place. It’s not so simple anymore.”

 

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Related reading

On helping clients with workplace stress and conflict, from the Counseling Today archives:

 

ACA Divisions

  • The National Career Development Association (ncda.org)

 

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Bethany Bray is a staff writer and social media coordinator for Counseling Today. Contact her at bbray@counseling.org.

 

Follow Counseling Today on Twitter @ACA_CTonline and on Facebook at facebook.com/CounselingToday.

 

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Opinions expressed and statements made in articles appearing on CT Online should not be assumed to represent the opinions of the editors or policies of the American Counseling Association.